BLOG OF DOOM.

Jack Beats tomorrow.

2010-11-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Why is it Milhouse always had a crush on Lisa in grade 4, when she was two grades younger than him. What a pervert! Jeez. Back in those days, two grades was serious, if you were seen hanging out with someone that young when you were a senior, you would be a big weirdo! Oooooh. Elementary days I tell you.

I just bought a Simpsons season DVD set for $20. Not a bad deal. I bought that with my new credit card. One thing I learned very quickly about a credit card is you're spending money you don't have, before you get it. That could become one big huge hole. Fortunately it's only $500 credit, so it's not really a big deal, but, I think I am already retiring this baby next pay check and only bringing him out for special occasions. I am not sure which gender I would make Mr Credit Card.

This blog post sucks, sue me. I had oodles to write but it has all escaped me momentarily.

this blog sucks.

2010-10-23T18:26:00.001-06:00

this thing is a relic now a days. time for a new fresh start.

so... I am now at codyharmsen.tumblr.com check me there for new updates.

i'm leaving this untouched and up as a memento to my prophetic past ;)

there's a whackload of vegetarian posts in it, aha. I am not very vegetarian anymore. use to be tho.

Serious business

2010-06-26T15:16:00.003-06:00

Life's pretty serious aside from the moments of glee and content which are not too far away from mourning and missing. *Serious face* like getting work done. If you screw up and make one mistake it could mean your life.

For example: just this weekend, my girlfriends brother Brandon drove down from Edmonton to Vancouver Island when she was in to visit and on the way a guy on a motorcycle passed him on his way to work in Jasper. It was dark out and he was going 140, he was late. He didn't see the elk ahead of him and he died on impact. Brandon, her brother tried to resuscitate him but he was kaput. The ambulance and police on scene knew him as a local 19 year old guy who worked as a penitentiary guard at the local jail cell. He looked like he had a beard but it was actually blood red elk fur.

I know seven people who have died from car accidents, and they're all under the age of 21. My friends cousin died of a car accident, my friend Kyle died of a car accident, my friend Tyler got killed by a drunk driver when he was ran over, my moms friends son was killed when he was on a quad and he pulled onto the highway, a truck decimated him, my moms friends daughter was killed when she was backed over, my great aunts daughter died from a car accident, and a little boy who was friends with my mom got killed by a bus that was pulling away and didn't see him trying to catch the bus.

I have almost been ran over multiple times. If a car doesn't come to a complete stop at a red light and goes to take a right turn, I almost lose my legs. If a car runs a red light and I am in the middle of a cross walk, I damn near die. If a car goes into reverse instead of forward, I have to jump out of your way as you drive into a light pole. If I walk onto the road a tiny bit and a bus pulls into the turning lane, I scream in fear as I have a monstrous vehicle skim past my toes. If I walk on the outside of the sidewalk I know that if that pretty girl wouldn't of walked by and I hadn't caught her gaze I would of mindlessly walked out into the intersection and I would of been ran over because the wide bus that drove by me damn near clipped my ears.

So, my point, life's pretty serious. People don't like that though. I didn't even mention all the people I know in wheel chairs because of vehicle accidents. Yeah the cities veins are the roads, and the heart is the gas station but damn, I would rather be alive and breathing and walking, than driving and dead.

In other news, if I start a new band I am leaning towards the name New Revolution, and I wouldn't mind making a clothing line called Naked Apparel.

test test

New post

2010-05-19T14:44:00.002-06:00

I haven't updated in a while.

Summer festivals are coming my way. It's hard to decide which ones I want to go. I always have a good time, and I missed the festivities last year, and I don't want it to happen again this year. Major problem though, I am kind of broke. I can make things work but I will have to sacrifice a few things to make it.

I signed up to a few programs at NAIT for next year. Hopefully I get accepted, I don't see why I wouldn't but I will not know for a few weeks. The reason I signed up to college is because I feel very left out, and useless. Every morning I wake up without a challenge or a direction, so I think if I get some school going, and I get my life back in the right direction, more good opportunities will come from there.

I have been working out quite a bit, I have taken an entire tub of weight gain formula, and I didn't really gain too much weight. Maybe a lb. Don't get the cheap weight gain formula, it's mostly sugar, and you just pee it all out. Tastes freaking delicious though, like a high quality milk shake. The protein powders that aren't meant for weight gain are delicious and low in fat, and would make a great meal replacement. I don't like drinking alot of milk though, so I replace the milk with berries, and I just blend the entire thing. Milk makes my prostate burn. :( :(.

lol anyways. SUMMER IS HERE. The opposite of winter is in effect, even if there was a twisted snow storm less than 2 weeks ago. <3, peace and salutations.

Soo...

2010-02-27T06:40:00.002-07:00

I uploaded two mixes to soundcloud. Never used soundcloud before it's pretty shnazzy but unfortunately you can't upload more than 2 hours of track time unless you pay. I still haven't gotten my credit card in the mail so that's not going to change until than.

Here's the link 2 my soundcloud check em out if you're bored..

Serious break down

2010-01-27T18:25:00.003-07:00

I am back to blogging again.

I NEED, to get down to earth. I have been feeling "good" lately, but I need to get on top of my game even more. I am growing out my beard for some spiritual renewal. A reminder I need to break off my bad habits and concentrate on being the best.

I would upload a bunch of mixes for you bad cats, but I honestly don't want to hahahah'

edit: I think it's time for a new blog design, I will have 2 work on that later...

im going to blog again.

2010-01-26T14:31:00.001-07:00

I am going to start blogging again. I did a hiatus for a while, but I think I need to start up again to sort out my thoughts once more. SO, expect blog posts again.

i'm quitting the internet

2009-10-23T13:50:00.003-06:00

I waste WAY TOO MUCH TIME on this stupid computer. So I am going to be removing myself from the internet. I am unplugging my computer and disassembling it and putting it in my closet. It throws me out of whack and I end up avoiding all things creative. I'll still be responding to messages, but a long hiatus wouldn't hurt. As for my comics, they'll one day return. I am going to focus on art more specifically now.

Blog Action Day

2009-10-15T13:42:00.003-06:00

http://www.blogactionday.com/

Today is the day where bloggers around the world post about environmental change. The effects of environmental change are permanent and will lead to detrimental effects for the future of our planet and all of its inhabitants. Many people see no evil, speak no evil, and hear no evil. You have to acknowledge that something is wrong. Entire species of animals are at risk when their ecoweb is threatened or destroyed by industrial expansion, acid rain, global increase in temperature, entire water supplies being poisoned, ocean spans the size of Texas filled entirely with garbage, entire city's completely uninhabitable because of toxic waste.

If it's not part of your plan to learn or care about this planet because it has nothing to do with your quality of life then you're leaving it for the next generation in shambles. Humans existed for thousands of years before fossil fuels and we need to sort things out and realize we can find a new way to live with lower toxic emissions. Using the power of technology we can reduce the output of emissions, not emit more. Before technology there was never a problem, now that our way of life has changed, our thinking and mentality has to change as well. Our culture and way of thinking have to change as well. Like spiderman said, "With great power comes great responsibility". The abuse of luxury that has condemned us to an industrial addiction.

Two different futures are coming, fast. Do you like diversity, pandas and a healthy ocean? Sadly, the pandas habitat is now 100% gone and they predict a complete extinction of the panda without complete human interference. Expected climate forecast patterns predict excessive drought and crop failure by 2050. There will not be any water in the summer. Precipitation will occur in the winter, but how will that feed crops? Do your own research, just use Google. Use keywords like drought by 2050, climate change, blanket of CO2, carbon emissions, greenhouse gasses, melting ice caps, warming oceans. THEY'RE NOT POSITIVE. I could feed you links, but there's enough out there for you to research on your own to make you come to your own conclusions.

Worst thing is, maybe you can't do anything either. If there was massive starvation and drought, people would still be driving hummers. Vote for change, and try to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle as much as possible. In the long run it may make a bigger difference then you think if every one can at least have forward thinking, that way new ideas can get pushed to the surface and new technology will see the light of day that doesn't make oil company's money.

IF WE DO NOT MAKE SACRIFICE THE VOLCANO GODS WILL BE ANGRY ><

finally done

2009-10-14T20:38:00.005-06:00

I haven't been able to drink coffee for over two weeks. When ever I drink it, I get a furious headache. That's why this hasn't been finished until now.

comic sept 30 a bit late

2009-09-30T21:22:00.002-06:00

This one took longer then I wanted it to finish. It's not that great when I started this I started working full time so I crashed half way through the night I began working on it. I got a great idea for the next one.

first comic!

2009-09-22T00:45:00.001-06:00

she's done.

I sort of didn't finish the comic

2009-09-21T19:38:00.002-06:00

I started my comic with only one day to finish it, so can you blame me for not having it finished? Okay you can, it could of easily been done by now, except last night I left it half finished and started working on facebook graffiti for a friend. Here's how she turned out, with the SLIGHTEST help from photoshop.

I'm starting a blog comic

2009-09-20T17:43:00.002-06:00

My blog sucks. It's boring, doesn't have interactive media, and there's no comics. That's all going to change. Soon I will be attempting to do a weekly comic. Every Monday they should be updated. I have quite a large amount of material locked away in my brain.

So expect one tomorrow. I've put some thought into this and I have a method planned out. I may upload video blogs too, but I doubt it. I think I should redesign my blog as well, this design is fairly old. It's colorful, but sort of hard to navigate and old.

Another great thing about comics, is that they double for story boards. I never do proper story boards for my flash, I try, but they never turn out, and I just sort of fumble my way through the animating process with everything coming out as I imagined it in my head without a process taking place before animation.

Humor and ideas will be conveyed in my comics. This should be something like playing the guitar I think. I play guitar every day, but I don't draw every day. Guitar's easy, there's no preperation, I just pick it up and play. This requires a little bit more dedication, but with some practice; hey! Could be fun. So look forward to some comics.

some stuff

2009-09-12T10:20:00.003-06:00

9 million salmon go missing this year when they returned home after a two years out at sea. They expected 10 million to return up stream, but only 10% of that came back from the ocean. Disturbing loss.

Salmon do not return

Something else that's disturbing, the Burrard bridge in Vancouver has only 2200 people walk across it every day while 60 000 cars drive across it. I am a minority by walking.

I returned home to Edmonton on the greyhound yesterday. 16 hour ride, you feel restless after sitting for ever.

Seen Marilyn Manson last night after I got home on the bus. Was a bad ass show. Sold out! I luckily scalped a ticket from a lonely scalper who was trying to sell it downstairs instead of upstairs. If he would of been selling it upstairs he could of unloaded it for $100 I bet. There was at least 10 people looking for tickets.

need another good book

2009-08-15T15:47:00.003-06:00

I am bored. I need to read another book. Always a way to pass time. It seems like an escape from actually doing something though. A girl stepped on a spider in front of me today. Damn her. It was orange and black and fairly large, and it spindled all down my body before falling to the ground. She went eek, and it went dead.

I could of brought my wacom tablet when I left Edmonton to return to Vancouver. I regret not doing that now.

Fall's coming

2009-08-14T13:28:00.003-06:00

It's around the corner. Just yesterday I was walking in a park and I found a tree that had hundreds of red and yellow leaves underneath it. It's starting to rain more in Vancouver, just like it had in Spring.

I like fall, it's a very pretty time of year. The weather's more calm, the colour orange is my favorite endorced by not only the leaves but by Halloween. My birthday is in October, and so is Halloween. You really can't go wrong.

I am also a winter person. I'll miss the warm sunshine and swimming in pretty lakes and the ocean but the winter walks are soon to come where there's nothing but still calmness and the sound of your shoes crunching in the snow to listen to.

Dark foreboding clouds are in the sky. It has rained for two day straight off and on and it doesn't look like it will stop. Good for forest fires I s'pose.

There's a documentry on Dolphin killing in Japan. I can't wait to see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KRD8e20fBo&feature=fvst
Looks very crazy and high tech.

Another interesting link: http://www.crystalinks.com/ufohistory.html.

I am rather still with thoughts at the moment. Sort of like the weather. Tired of sleeping but no one to stay awake late with respectively.

omgwine>:(

2009-08-09T13:44:00.005-06:00

Wine is uncool. The other day I wanted beer, I was CRAVING beer because I had coffee that morning and I was fairly dehydrated and beer re hydrates you and is full of delicious beer calories. Instead I get wine LIKE A FOOL and I drink half the bottle in one go because the mall right by my house was having a grand opening and I wanted to observe the patrons a little drunk. Hence the wine on grande opening day. It was a cool grand opening.

In the process of this drunkening I sent some cool people some really dumb ass uncool messages which may of felt good to say but would of been better off left unsaid or at least said when I was sober with a much more delicate approach. Then after all that I get a terrible headache/mid day hangover and I am left to think about that which I have done that only wine can give. Fortunately the people I did send these stupid messages to are really cool so I think they can forgive me, but it's sad to think that they will always think of my as a bit of a sad pigheaded fool.

I had a dream with Tony Hawk and he tried to show me what being cool is after I lost my 'cool'. To be 'cool' is to consider yourself and others equal regardless of their place in life or really what they've done, otherwise you are a bitch or a boss. Being uncool is to bow to some one needlessly as if you have a higher regard for them, then yourself. What's worse would be to treat some one as if they were less then you, and is probably one of the driving forces in this world that makes people do greedy and evil things.

An example of when I was a bit of a bitch in a message I sent some one I thought was super cool:

'I like what you so much, I am totally not worthy' even though I am probably the most awesomest monster on this earth.

If some one has such a big ego that they would like you to bow to them they're the biggest losers on the face of the planet. These people are the kind of people who are mean to waitresses, will boss their children around to the day they die, and always know what's best for you. It can be very inadvertent as well. You can even be quite positive about it and still be quite life-stifling.

On the positive side!

Things are going EXTREMELY well despite my hatred of wine. All my plans are coming together swimmingly because my Grandma is the nicest Grandma in the world. She has lent me around $1600 to get this awesome job on the cruise ship by paying for my bus fair to and from, for delicious food to eat as I am broke right now, for brand new headphones and a brand new mixing program right out of the box. If I don't slack off and I keep up the hard work I could be really good at this job because I have DJ'd for so much of my life.

My music library still needs to be ultra-tweaked so when I show the playlist to the people who I will be performing for they can choose the music easily and professionally. Right now my music library is auto-assorting itself and it will take another 16 hours for that to finish because it's so large. Then, I just have to show them my mad mixing powers and they hopefully will be very impressed ;D.

I love being a DJ. The adrenaline rush when you play, the need to know the next best song when you're on the spot, the smiles on peoples faces, the hugs you get from happy patrons, helping people enjoy their night as best I can. It's fun and extremely invigorating.

Long term though I want to go back to University though. I am very smart and every day I waste not learning as much as I can I feel like I have done a terrible harm to those around me and myself. I like being challenged, and envigorated :p but, things are going well and according to plan as I have stated above, very happy right now. :)

I can't waste any more time on this message. I think it could of been better said. Love yourself!

Funny comic strip

2009-07-31T16:32:00.000-06:00

This comic strip is really funny.

http://www.prguitarman.com/index.php?id=127

Very funny comic!

Also.

http://www.youtube.com/homeproject

very important you hooligans watch that. it's inspiring.

I am coming back to Edmonton for a week or two

2009-07-26T13:12:00.008-06:00

I remember when I rolled up the first day at the very beginning of spring and it all looked 100% new to me. The blossoms were JUST blooming so all I could see were flowers every where, it was beautiful. Now that I know where everything is, it's totally different to me now, but it still is just as sweet.

Vancouver is a lovely place to be, and I have met many many cool people here. The weather is what will keep a person here. You can swim in the ocean at 3 am and air dry! Whistler is also freakishly nice. Their lake that is situated only 3 minutes away walking from the village and is crystal clear.

I am coming back to Edmonton to prepare for a cruise line DJ job. I have the second interview in mid august and things look fairly optimistic! So good in fact that if any other DJ's I know would like a try out they're welcome to come. There's over 15 cruise ships or so.

AGHHH I can't remember what I was thinking of last night, and it was very important to me. DAMN IT ALL.

Dreaming as usual

2009-06-26T13:07:00.002-06:00

I've started a journal. "Dictations, drawings and dreams". Hopefully that will be full of things not shit. Not full of shit, you see; that would make it a good journal.

Talked to some freak who had rage issues who had been to LA for 6 years of his life. Apparently it's a nasty city, the likes of us Canadians have never seen. Good parts, yes; but the ghettos are something else.

I slept too much last night. Sleeping too much always makes you feel sick. 'Been eating too much lately too. Fattenin' up before winter I call it. I have a date tomorrow so I am going to sell some of my art tonight to pay for the date. 'Bet I get at least $35 muahaha.

It's been two months since I last worked, and like myself, my friend Kyle also has the same ideology about work as me. Do it in bursts, get a bunch of money, then travel. I will start fruit picking very shortly, then I plan on getting a passport and going who knows where.

Good day to you all! :)

Said summary...

2009-06-22T15:10:00.002-06:00

Some time..

2009-06-22T14:11:00.002-06:00

The world humanity has made is damn near indestructible. These huge buildings we have put up will never come down. It would take a bunch of C4 and two planes to fly into them to bring em down ;). I hate it. I think everything could be different. No hotels, no walmarts, no starbucks, no McDonalds, no more car dealerships. Life would be simple. It could be extraordinary, don't get me wrong, it would just be different. Different expectations, different rules, different ideals. Life has been this way since WW2. It'd probably take another war to change anything we have started. What's worse, we would have a war over oil, and there could be a nuclear apocalypse, and I know that people would still be driving SUV's and Hummers.

I hate cement, and this whole world is made up of it. I walk too much. I went to the doctor 3 weeks ago for athletes foot and he asked me why my feet had such huge calluses, something like has never seen before; he asked if they were painful! aha It's because I walk everywhere, all the time.

I doubt I will ever join the army because it's all over oil. The world is meant to be driven on, not to be walked on. My sore feet and the fact that every time I go for a walk I almost die are a testament to this. Wide buses, women who accidentally drive in reverse, people running red lights, people taking fast right turns. TOO MANY TIMES HAVE I ALMOST DIED FROM VEHICLES.

I'm sure many people will read this and go "shut the fuck up Cody" but, seriously, fuck you. I hate so many people it's not funny.

Muahaha

2009-06-10T14:18:00.004-06:00

I hate this heat. It makes my loins sweaty. It's almost unbearable, because you can't really adjust yourself in public without looking like a ball juggler.

Crystal Castles was by far, the most enjoyed concert I have been to. It was wonderful. The warm up bands were cool too, just not as good.

The Crystal Method was also insanely good. Their show was perfection, the source of all sound. The things they did up there were... Godly.

The Offspring is coming to Vancouver tonight, then CkY then Ferry Corsten. I am sort of broke, but hey, where there's a will, there's a way.

Concerts

2009-06-01T18:51:00.001-06:00

Seen mat the alien 2 nights ago. Up 2 see crystal method tonight.. and in a couple days, crystal castles! :D

I've seen way too many concerts and events by myself, or have lost my group entirely because we are just not destined to be together for that evening. Always a great time! But, quite depressing really.. I enjoy people way too much to think that almost all of my favorite, most cherished memories pertaining to music are by myself.

:3

3 weeks in vancouver

2009-05-24T13:05:00.002-06:00

It's insanely hard to find people who mesh with you perfectly. I have met some really cool people in Vancouver but they've always got too much going on all the time. I am almost growing restless with this city because I've seen it front to back now and all that's left is to explore suburban areas which is not exciting. I am not homesick at all but I do miss my friends from Edmonton, the few I had anyway.

I hate horoscopes, when you read them they effect how your day unfolds. For example, if you read that you're not going to party that day, when some sort of party arises you will subliminally avoid it. It's a really big piss off when you would of preferred to of gone out that day! This has happened to me on several occasions now, the horoscopes changing the way events unfold for the worse when things could of been much better. Hopefully in the long run they were right but for short term, screw you horoscopes!

May long was a bullet to my wallet.

regarding God

2009-05-14T22:22:00.003-06:00

People don't believe in God because he's not here. I think he's here but is neutral and to his creation. People get mad at God for the terrible things that happen to them, blame him for the way they feel because it's unbearable and cruel but I don't think He cares! I bet he cries for you, but it would take quite a bit for his strong and remarkable eyes. Why? You're insignificant and time will continue on without you which in the long run is infinitely important, literally infinite! He made earth, all of creation. The reason you're in pain, the reason your life sucks, is probably human kinds fault, not his which is a result of free will. Greedy people suck:p. We have free will; we're alive, to make his creation worth living the way we want it to be lived. It's not his fault that other people went the other way with it and made your life terrible. I think if you rejoice in life and look for greater serving and even pray for what you want in life, you can get what you want. He's quite the mad scientist, dinosaurs!†

I'm in vancouver.

2009-05-14T17:05:00.002-06:00

I'm in Vancouver. I hitch hiked here. I have little to no money. I get free food from youth shelters because I am under 22. Life's really good. I feel like I am no longer a domesticated human being and that I can do what ever I want, when I want, if I want to do it. It's great!

Payday is tomorrow though so this weekend I might just party it up. Selfish me huh? BUT, hey what else is there to do right? Read? Boooring. I haven't read a decent book for some time. I love ramblin'.

I usually post my idea of wisdom on here. I made a twitter update recently that I liked.

"Enjoy life. You're faced with hurdles in every moment, no matter big or small (unless you're superman) which build "character"..." God likes character.

I also like "you learn something new every day" ^.^ :p

if you don't know my twitter it's http://www.twitter.com/seriouslycody add me!

sleeping on the floor

2009-04-09T06:15:00.002-06:00

Since the age of 8 I would get reoccurring back pain. This was due to my terrible mattress that was over 15-20 years old.

My mom
"no we had that mattress out on the farm, it's a good mattress!"

Me
"You're a lunatic!"

I eventually got a new mattress about 6-7 years ago (seems like yesterday), but slowly but surely my ass left a serious indent and my back pain has once again returned. So while I was talking to my yoga instructor I informed her of my back ache and she told me that the culprit is most likely the mattress and I would be far better sleeping on the floor. I have been doing this for a week and my back pain is 100% gone! Also, the world is solid cement so if you have back pain make sure you have shoes that are very well padded and have good arch support. Do not sleep on solid concrete! That's the most terrible ache you can get. DOWN WITH CONCRETE.

Merry mornin' to ya'll.

Quick update

2009-04-04T19:10:00.003-06:00

life's moving along.

I met a girl one day and we hit it off really well. She saved my life. I was crossing the road at city center and as I did I slowly started to skip the crosswalk to get to the other side quicker because I wanted to go to the library. The only thing that stopped me from actually cutting the corner was a pretty girl who I looked at as I crossed the street. When she finally passed I continued to cut the corner and a bus zoomed past me, not even a foot away. If it wasn't for her I would of been hit by a bus! Later I went back and told her the story and we had a day together which was really really lovely. I haven't seen her since :( but I am sure I will one of these days.

I got a gym membership. Pumpin' the guns. Feels really good. I have yoga & meditation classes on wednesday and I am still doing karate. I really should be working on my art more but physical activity takes up most of my time, which I can't complain about. I bought a hacky sack and it's not even a week old and already it's losing all its beeds. My shoes are falling apart. Work is alright...

:)

my twitter account is www.twitter.com/seriouslycody if any one wants to add me.

I was noted in an article

2009-03-26T14:58:00.002-06:00

I did an interview with a writer from www.TheEyeOpener.com who used a couple of my words in an article.

"Cody Harmsen, a blogger who started in Grade 12 and continued polyphasic sleeping all through college said the mind also plays a major role during the transition phase.

"The transition is hard because you're fighting a never-ending battle with your inner demons who are lazy gluttons who only want you to sleep. You find excuses to sleep even if you shouldn't."

He recalls being unable to sleep for long periods of time once he started transitioning. He would go to bed at 12 a.m. and then wake up 25 minutes later without an alarm.

But if he ever missed a nap, he said he'd get extremely cranky. Harmsen said that once you start polyphasic sleeping, you'll never dream the same again.

"The dreams feel so good it's scary. Your mind physically changes when you do polyphasic sleeping. If you woke up out of that deep sleep state and forced yourself to go for a walk, by 3 p.m. you could be crying because you feel so good."

Since his job doesn't allow him to nap every few hours he is no longer a steady polyphasic sleeper."

The Article

I have never gone to college and I don't know where she got that from but no matter. I wrote quite a bit more and I feel like she never used some of my better points, but they were rather long and slightly hard to understand so I can't blame her.

A cool quiz

2009-03-25T21:42:00.002-06:00

I love dragons, I have been drawing them since I can remember. I recently found a quiz online where you get to find out what kind of dragon you are. I am a mist dragon but I also qualify for a Heliotropic Dragon.

http://travel-hounds.com/dragon/quiz.html

RIP Rae Lyn

2009-03-04T15:29:00.002-07:00

My aunt Rae Lyn very unfortunately passed away at the young age of 36 on March 2. Deepest sympathies go out to her closest kin from my mother, myself and I am sure any one who has had the wonderful fortune to know her and her family.

She was one of the coolest people I knew. If you saw her you would look twice just because she had such a warm and beautiful heart. When she was around you felt at ease and in good spirits and it's a sad shame that the good always die young.

When you remember and think about Rae Lyn know that you can't help but smile because her love shines even after she has passed away. She will be truly missed and not forgotten by those that knew her.

Swearing

2009-02-25T22:18:00.001-07:00

I swear too much. I grew up with people who swear all the time, I watch TV shows that are endorce swearing and I think it adds great value to sentances because I am so use to it that the emphasis just comes naturally!

I have a terrible potty mouth I will admit. I plan to change that, hell maybe that's my new years resolution. Something I might actually be able to accomplish!

Confession

2009-02-25T21:38:00.002-07:00

At work I made the most disgusting thing you could imagine. I took rice, mushrooms, beans, lettuce, salsa, deep fried onion rings and I wrapped it all in a flatbread shell. It was so thick that it couldn't completely wrap. My coworkers recommended I ate it in the back, but I the brave bastard I am took it to the front employee table and munched away. I got some funny comments and odd looks but it was worth it. I farted sick for 24 hours after.

-Cold showers have not been every day anymore. :( Sorta been bunked out lately. Come summer they will probably return 100%

-I have been fucking up my polyphasic sleeping. Why? Because I am weak. I have such power hidden in me and I am too lazy and pathetic to harness it. So much so that I have been sleeping in till noon some days.

-I still play counter-strike. =[ I can't uninstall it.. Ahhh!

cheezy ballsackz.

aha!

2009-02-18T21:54:00.002-07:00

Funny horoscope: your thinking is skewed towards cool rationalism. Kind of appropriate considering my dumb posts regarding coolness lately. lol..

Just had a smoke after a meditation class as I walked through the local cemetery for something to do. I think I have come in contact with enough concussions to be allowed to appreciate the stillness of a graveyard. (I rarely ever smoke)

I got some really sweet meditation tracks from one of the instructors. They're extremely pleasant and over-seas sounding. Very cool stuff.

That's all for now I guess. Merry moments to you all!

definition & meditation

2009-02-16T20:22:00.004-07:00

Regarding the last post, the definition of cool is up to every one to decide really. "Cool" is not the law of average as some people I know have said. Cool > average.

Enough banter about coolness. I shall throw down some of my information on meditation. It's one of the things I particularly enjoy. I have been taking a meditation class for the last half of this year so I feel that I am as good as any one at filling your noggin full of vital bits about it. Before my class I meditated for a couple years, and achieved some great moments.

The goal of meditation is to clear your mind of mundane thoughts and dullness. It can give energy, satisfaction, clarity, a new sense of well being and purpose as well as a physical improvement in health. These effects take place immediately after and during your meditation session. It's hard to describe, but if you can manage to meditate with purpose for more then 7+ minutes, afterwards you will stand up and the world will look and feel completely new and refreshed. It's a feeling that's truly to die for. Much like how your body feels after a long yoga session.

You will want to meditate in the morning for 10 minutes, and before bed for 10 minutes. If you do this every day, for 1 week, by the end of 1 week you will notice a significant amount of stress reduced. The goal is not to bring thoughts to life, but to clear your mind of thoughts. You can meditate to music, or not to music. I am a very musical person so I do listen to tracks here and there, but some times the best meditation sessions are without music. I find that it's easy to take your mind of thoughts with the aid of music because your brain has something to groove to.

Breathing is essential to control the depth of your meditation. Your mind should not be focused on breathing. You should naturally control the rate, and strength of your inhale and exhale. There are many breathing techniques to induce greater states of relaxation and clarity. I enjoy breathing in through my nose, and out through my mouth but it is perfectly acceptable to breath in through your nose and out through your nose. You want to breath out for the longest amount of time possible and then breath in rapidly. Out to the count of 10-20. In to the count of 6-8. You can do this to the rhythm of music.

Meditation isn't hard, or complex and the goals are easily attainable. I really like doing it. It gives you energy, clears your mind, and helps you reduce stress. Afterwards you feel like nothing in the world can stand in your way. I have left my mind before when I forced myself into a trance out of pure desire. A door opened and I stepped through it and when I awoke, 10 minutes later, I couldn't remember where I went but I could remember a state of wonderful pleasure. Much like a dream state.

So for a quick summary: sit cross legged some where pleasant in your domain and close your eyes. Breathe out deeply and inhale fairly quickly. You will want to keep your back as straight as you can comfortably manage. Your goal is to raise your chakra energy (there are 7 chakras on your body). When you do so, your hands will become cold, and you will notice your body and face have become flushed. Once again, the purpose is not for length but quality, so only a short 10 minute session when you first start out is fine. When you get up, get up slowly, possibly with stretches. If you're feeling uneasy about meditating; remember: it's cool. lol :)

:) also naps. Naps are awesome. Instant cure to crankiness.

(I am aware posts on coolage are retarded but fairly fun to write about)

The lust for adventure

2009-02-15T15:43:00.003-07:00

The journey is just as fun as the final destination.

There's a fine difference between being cool, and doing cool things. Any one can do something cool, but to be cool, you would bring the coolness out of other people. It's not cool to be uncool. That's actually lame and retarded, which makes you a loser. ;)

a nice dream

2009-02-07T18:20:00.002-07:00

I had a wonderful dream about traveling in space. We eventually landed on a new planet and the inhabitants bombarded us with ships to try to destroy us because we were foreign and they didn't like us. If they tried to shoot us, we would fire warning shots, and if they didn't stop we would kill them. They got close to me, but they knew that if they took another step I would rip their head off. We eventually won because we were far superior in size and magnitude. Their ships were small and flimsy.

Near the end of the dream, our ships had transformed from old penis looking ships, that were long and large, into green, super ships that were beautiful. This was because we had accepted that women were of equal status to men and this was a sign of sophistication and higher intelligence. No longer were we restricted to the super-big ships that were completely silly.

This dream felt amazing and in it, I was a demon/angel. I was gold and once my work was done in this land I would go to the next to spread truth and intelligence. At the end of the dream I was hanging out with 3 very pretty cool girls who were super-slick, caring and smart.

Bunny sanctuary x2

2009-01-29T04:54:00.004-07:00

I did eventually walk to the theaters. I met some really cool people there. The movie itself I think, was the best of the series. Third times the charm. Really brings the whole thing together. Jam-packed with action. Very epic. I probably should of seen slum-dog millionaire, but can't change that now can I.

When I was walking home I got hassled by cops because I jay-walked on a street that had no lights. There was no way to cross legally, even they admitted this. I got in a pretty hilarious fight with them because when they started lecturing me I wouldn't take their guff because I find arguing with cops probably the funnest thing to do in the world, as long as you're not afraid to get beat up. I was eventually put on the hood and thrown in the back for being so mouthy. I absentmindedly called one a munchkin because the entire time he stood 15 feet away and didn't say a word for the whole duration of the arrest. This is when I was wrongly arrested for "trespassing". He still didn't say a single word, not once. I'm sure they're great cops, they just remind me of some bullies I know, and I will not be a bitch and take their attitude. If they want to talk down to me and demand things, I will give it right back to them. It's probably one the greatest, cheapest adrenaline rushes you can get.

To continue my story, I walked home, and one of my feet was still sorely crippled from walking home on Monday from Clareview (it still hurts >=/). I eventually ran into some rabbits who led me around for at least half an hour, and eventually I followed one into a back alley where I found THE ULTIMATE bunny sanctuary, far greater then the one before. This one had 7 bunnies in it. Silly rabbits. If you follow em around long enough I think they just accept you into their posse lulz. They will let you get freakishly close.

I think that the taliban are crazy retarded. I talked about them in my previous post and if any one of them ever reads this I hope they know women are just as great as man can be, and every one deserves equal universal rights to education and health care. The only way to serene enlightenment is through knowledge. You can't learn much if you can't leave the house or go to school. Doesn't say much about forgiveness and tolerance/humanity either if you kill little girls and publicly beat people.

On the flipside I came to another reason why I dislike capitalism. It breeds domestic lifestyles. Things use to be different. Mesopotamia, Babylonia, Greece, Egypt, life wasn't like today. When the rise of Christianity began, all of a sudden everything became "the Devil" and people would be burned at the stake for looking at the sky. Now the common man is a slave. Fat, slow and addicted to the aids of society that you have to pay for. LIKE I SAID. Higher education, and the government aren't bad things and currency obviously serves a purpose.

I am not saying the world is getting smaller by any means. The world is getting bigger and life is becoming more profound and great every day. I just feel like I could get cancer tomorrow living the way I live, and I am fairly healthy person.

Women and men are equal besides hormones and reproductive organs.

Let's hold hands

a short and lame post

2009-01-28T12:58:00.002-07:00

I never walked to the movies. My legs were still a bit sore from yesterday and the wind was blowing so... naah!

I just had a cold shower. I noticed spelling mistakes and fragmented sentences that I made in the gusto of my typing, I am kind of a clean freak when it comes to my blog so this is mildly irritating. My blog has spelling mistakes, deal with it! ><

I I I. My blog is always about me.

Something not about me:

While I was walking monday I was listening to talk radio. In Pakistan, the Taliban do not allow women to go to school! They have killed 4 girls, and blew up buildings to stop this from happening. What the fuck!? What a buncha crazy's.

white rabbits!

2009-01-27T16:42:00.002-07:00

Every time I go for a walk I see rabbits. I made a post about a year about rabbits. I see them every where in the city. I went on a run about a week and a half ago, and I found a rabbit sanctuary. There were 4-5 white rabbits kickin' around. Last night, after a really long walk I seen more. They're impossible to catch. There is no way, you can catch a rabbit. NONE. No way. I have tried, believe me.

I am going to see the new undeworld movie tonight. Fair walk to the movie theater, maybe ill see a few more.

capitalism

2009-01-25T21:02:00.003-07:00

caffeine headache

2009-01-25T14:56:00.003-07:00

My mom drinks quite a bit of coffee so I find myself drinking it quite a bit. I mix in coacoa & honey so it's extra tastey. Lately i've been drinking it more then usual because it's tasty and once you get into the habit it's hard to break. On friday I didn't have coffee in the morning, instead I had cinnamon and honey in hot water. Man did I get a whicked caffeine headache later. Extremely sensitive to light as well. Habitual long term intake of coffee/caffeine will give you mad headaches if you try to quit it seems. My mom reports terrible headaches when she skips her morning cup. Eventually the cup has little to no effect. If I don't drink coffee for about a month, afterwards I get an acute coffee buzz that is to die for.

kind of a pathetic day

2009-01-24T19:45:00.003-07:00

You know you like some one when: you browse their facebook profile and instantly you start eating because she makes you nervous. If you have no one to love some times life is just too bland to bare.

'Bout the day. I reached my weight goal of 150 lbs. I was at 140 and I felt too skinny so I bulked up and I am finally up to 150. I can't find all that much extra fat on my body, but I have been doing lots of walking and winter running lately so my legs are kind of beefed up a bit. I was walking today and my legs chafed against the side of my pants. I made it to whyteave and it got to be too much. I had to take the LRT! How pathetic eh. What's worse is that I think it's all my pants. When summer rolls around all shorts all the time. Aww yeah.

website shoutout: www.Radiogrounds.com I founded it and I dj there. Listen in!

drinkin some tea

2009-01-19T19:11:00.002-07:00

I have a nice warm cup of tea... I am out of herbal tea. I want herbal tea because it doesn't contain caffeine and sometimes, you need tea, but not caffeine. Obvious I know BUT maybe not to the avid tea drinker.

Tea's great because it helps with digestion, relaxes you and is delicious. If you ever are REALLY tired, try drinking a big cup of tea right before you go to sleep (with caffeine). You'll wake up feeling extra-ordinarily energized and your dreams will be super-strong. You have to be really tired though otherwise you will just lay in bed awake.

bein stein vs evolution

2009-01-19T18:53:00.004-07:00

I am pro-evolution, but I am also pro-bein-stein. Hmm?!

American Market Crash

2009-01-14T16:28:00.002-07:00

Damn you market crash! Getting a job is hard right now. All the jobs out there are either, gimmicky and lame, casual hours, or I am not #1 on their list to be hired.

You can get freakin' cheap housing in the states right now.

I discovered a sure-fire way to eat over christmas. Eat small meals for 3 day periods, then have a large big meal. Small meal would be an apple, carrot, banana or nuts. On the third day when your body actually needs to replenish its stores of fewd, you eat a large fibrous meal and your body gets everything it needs for a good while. There's advantages to both small meals and big meals.

it snowed like 8 inches apparently :O

2009-01-13T00:02:00.002-07:00

I normally say I love winter. That's slowly changing, as I yearn for summer... SUNLIGHT, WARMTH. I still hate being too hot way worse then too cold, because it's easy to become warm, but damn summer walks are nice.

There's a book called the selfish gene. Evolution's great, I have moments of ponder about evolution that make me go "awe". BUT, did you ever think maybe the person who wrote the selfish gene only wrote the book to make money? It would be kind of ironic wouldn't it be?

I am trying to get a job in the health sector. I need a place to go in the morning. I naturally wake up around 4:30 am without an alarm, so I go nuts when I have nothing to do except watch TV/movies and play video games. I usually just go back to sleep because I can't find anything else to do. I hate sleeping in ><

I said once you're only as strong as your followers as a joke regarding military and political strength but the same can be said about your soul being only as strong as your friends. If you have lost close friends and you are always in a state of perpetual aloneness or even worse you're surrounded by people who only want you to feel pain/hurt then you are crippled emotionally.

Spirituality is important to me. I do breathing techniques/meditation/exercise so my soul is strong but I recently just moved to a new city so I have few friends and the ones that I do have here are usually older then me and quite busy. This means I am usually bored/by myself. I am an extremely social person but I find it hard to find new friends who have just as much free time as I do. I am sure when I get a real job this will change.

Before the NIN concert last year I didn't change my shirt for about 40 days. It was my lucky shirt. Not a single person in my life noticed, not even my mom some how. I know this shirt was lucky because one day when I was painting in the mall, some guy accidentally knocked over a small paint bucket and it magically fell square into my hands without any paint spilling on my shirt.

This same shirt I threw away at In Flames because I felt that its luck had run dry. The very same second I found a lucky toque that fell at my feet. A bit later I found a new shirt with horses on it upstairs sitting on a chair, that had been left to any takers. This helped me find my new DJ name, DJ BassLayer. It came to me because it was the perfect sub-layer for running outside. A toque and a long sleeve shirt. It's funny because in the movie twilight one of the people who got eaten by the rogue vampires was wearing a shirt that was exactly the same as my old lucky shirt.

So what I am saying is. My new dj name is djbasslayer for now. Friends are healthy for mental maintenance and having bad friends is worse then having none. My old nickname, dj swaenk is too hot, and non-coo but it totally served its purpose for the years I had it. Some people have WAY-BUNK vibes/energy and these people suck. Not much you can do about em. I just can't stand it when they get in my headspace.

I seen the movie the day the earth stood still. A cool spin on Noah's ark.

2009-01-12T18:22:00.002-07:00

vanity insanity
some sort of ego death
we try to become bigger and better
the whole time trying to strangle the rest

shisms

2009-01-07T17:10:00.004-07:00

about the isms of the capital?

I seen a sign for the future that was very foreboding. The moment I saw it a bunch of things clicked in my head and I felt a very bad vibe about things to come. If you're reading this you're smart enough to know how stupid people can be.

It all started with the girl I met on my way to GP on the greyhound. She told me about some paranormal experiences she has had when she tried to help people through an underprivileged program. She immediately got some serious nightmares and could only describe what she felt and saw as really bad evil. She is 30 years old, going to school to become a teacher and had quit her previous professional field because she couldn't take it any more. She told me every time she brings it up she gets terrible nightmares again. She was very cool and we hit it off fairly well, and I went on more then I should of about myself like I usually do when I meet people I clique with.

When I was walking in Superstore a couple days later I saw a girl that looked almost identical to her (but very different in ways) walking in her pajamas near the checkout. It felt as though I was the only person in superstore to see her. I immediately got a terrible vibe as though she thought very little of doing this. She did not look mentally ill or seem unhappy at all.

What this means to me is that some people are losing it. Evil has "manifested" itself in people from an early age and people are not getting "enlightenment". There is no luxury of love in these peoples poor souls and they have been twisted and changed due to cruel circumstances. Things are not safe and the world is in a bigger state of turmoil then we are aware of inside of our little safe bubbles. I think there's little to no hope for some souls because I am not Jesus and the larger probability is that you would be stabbed if you ever told these people to go to church.

The sign was very strong and irked me out for a few days. I am not going to cry over it because life will go on and my bubble is pretty dope. What it does mean is that we should be careful, smart and safe. The train goes every where and people go where there's food.

I've walked up to people who were in a state of despair before (yelling/screaming) and managed to remedy the situation only through talking politely, keeping a safe distance, and repeating, "hello, are you okay?" a couple times. Other times I have avoided getting jumped just by using logic to deduct that this group of people are loud, obnoxious and angry. I know that they were going to jump me because they were talking about seeing the new 007 movie in theaters way louder then they should of to get my attention. Later I checked and the new movie had not come out in theaters yet.

If some one tells you they are bad, they most likely are, bad. Some people play a fine line and more often then not they are opportunists and you should beware of these people too. Something called a ponze scheme is where you get an investors money and only intend to pay it back with other investors money. Try not to get suckered into this.

Final rant:

Capitalism is self destroying. Eventually the life is sucked out of the country because people only try to leach off of the country's prosperity by making money by doing as little work as possible.

Yes I believe in freedom and capitalism has many luxury's but this is also the trap and why you are so firm in hating the idea that there are bad things associated with it. Imagine buying products overseas for $5.00 then reselling it in our economy for $50.00. That's not good for inflation and balance.

The insane increase in gas prices until the economy broke I think was a final attempt to remedy things without actually changing the way the economy functions.

I have dreams about eco-friendly super-city's and mini-villages that are self sustained and very beautiful. They're maybe just a dream. We do have food courts with over 27 different choices to choose from, so life isn't that bad :p

aklsdjf

2009-01-07T16:51:00.004-07:00

So. It's foggy out right now. Big news.

I want to rag on capitalism more. Don't get capitalism confused with money or the government. You can have currency and government and no capitalism. I bitch about this too much. I know people who believe in consumption and greed to the highest extent. Drill now, care later philosophy.

I want to write, but, I don't. So I am unsure why I am. Hillary Clinton is Obama's secretary. I think that's fucking ridiculous. There's a reason she didn't get voted into the white house.

i'm back in edmonton

2009-01-05T22:36:00.002-07:00

Boooo.

It's nice to be back in my own bed, I guess.... but man GP feels like home. I met a lovely girl on the bus down. I hope I see her again some day. Christmas was smooth for the most part, like every year, aside from a few speed bumps.

I have a cold. It hurts to cough.

Walking in the winter snow

2008-12-17T18:55:00.002-07:00

When you walk in the snow your shoes squeak. It's not a quiet squeak, it's this full on squeak that only can be made with the sound of my feet meeting the snow. When you walk alot, and it's at night, and there's no one around. All you can hear is your shoes squeaking. It's really weird. Squeak, squeak. You can't escape it, no. Any where and every where is constant squeaking. Home is a good 4 kms away and everything is closed. The squeaking, is inescapable.

every body it's christmas

2008-12-15T17:53:00.002-07:00

Every one is grouchy. Sick season, colds, flues, no sun. Just remember, ITS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. ;)

how much

2008-12-11T14:21:00.003-07:00

How much damage do you think humans could do to the precious environment from being greedy and lazy? This much [-] or [---------------------------------] this much? Hmm? Entire spans of oceans are filled with garbage.

I WANT AN OUTSIDE JOB! ><

I just spent all morning puking. I feel sick as hell right now. Not because I snorted wasabi last night which I do not recommend, but because I ate a toasted marshmallow sandwich with oatmeal that did not agree with me. Every morning this past week, I get up really early like I intend to but I fall back asleep because there's nothing to do. I have work but it's sooo fucking boring at 4:00 am. I wake up without an alarm too! Sleeping in till 10:00 feels like utter hell, i'm tired, sleepy still, but I can't sleep anymore.

Inside living is hell. It's unnaturally hot, there's no proper airflow, you don't get any sunshine and all you have to do is eat, which clogs up your sinuses and makes you fat, sleepy and tired.

Food is evil. They only sell us this junk to make money. It comes in little packages with preservatives. ORGANIC IS THE WAY I TELL YOU!

All I want in the future is sustainable food, universities and tree forts/teepees. >=D

I hate society

2008-12-06T22:11:00.005-07:00

Society is built to make some one, some where; money. Dr. David Suzuki said Edmonton should be changed to meet the needs of people who walk in the city to reduce the amount of driving that's necessary to get around. I agree 100% because I am always walking, and I love it. Even the coldest of days are fine to walk in if you're dressed properly.

On Wednesday my MP3 player and bus pass were stolen out of my jacket at work. Are they able to do anything about it? Nope. Apparently the only people who can check the cameras at the store are the loss prevention people in the United States. This means that almost all the video cameras you see in small stores are completely useless. I worked at Hollister Co. at west ed.

Thursday I went to see Sander Van Doorn but my pants were chafing me. So much that I had two rashes on either sides of my legs. I never steal, I hate stealing, for example, my mp3 player and bus pass were just stolen and it was a major inconvenience to me. Unlike me, that day I stole a pair of pants from a store because my bus already left and I didn't want to be late for the concert, I didn't want my pants to chafe all night when I danced and I was 100% broke.

The only reason business/stores operate is to make a profit. They don't care about you, or me, they just care about the dividend at the end of the month that goes into their pocket. That's why capitalism is a filthy regime of endless pollution and cancer. They even make billions off the fucking cancer. 1 week of cancer treatments costs around $250. Imagine how much money a diabetic pays over the course of a lifetime!

If I steal a pair of pants from a store that is only open to make money, do I really care? They're obviously breaking even or better otherwise they wouldn't be selling their slave clothes. Most likely all the clothes you wear have been outsourced and stitched by a 14 year old in a factory. That's why the U.S. owes china a trillion dollars. When our economy is up, it's a total lie because all of the profit we make is from some one elses cheap labor. It's like digging a very deep hole that you'd have to fill with water to get out of. You'd most likely drown before the water elevated you high enough to ever get out. Some one some where in a third world country is making mad money from our expensive habits while our hole only gets deeper.

To continue the story, my stolen pants were a better fit and I was on my way. I snuck into the Sander Van Doorn by luck. It was only a $10 cover for me since I attended Armin Van Buuren, but the emergency exit was open for some reason and I just walked in.

This was very fortunate because I wanted to go to the annual lunch buffet the next day at Padmadani's and this was the very last of my money (yes I was fasting, BUT this is also a vegetarian restaurant buffet!#@%!). I sat in the bathroom until the first DJ came on, and then I checked my coat and I was on my way. It was a decent concert, very strong beats, and the mixing was perfect, except there was no vocals. The girls liked it, they were throwing their bras on stage. I just felt there was something missing.

After the concert I walked home because the buses weren't running. Instead of going home I decided to walk downtown and attend the lunch buffet at 12:00. That and I couldn't afford the bus. The buffet started at 12:00 pm and ended at 10:00 pm. They throw this buffet the first friday of every month. I thought it was only every year, that's why I was so willing to break my fast. I intended to walk downtown and catch it at noon because I thought that's when my friends were going to show up as it displayed on facebook. I walked for a good few hours in a general direction of downtown until I neared the main park.

This is when my night changed. Ahead of me two white rabbits ran across the road. I didn't want to get crossed by white rabbits so I walked across the road and ahead of me was a path that headed into the park. It was a steep path and I slipped and fell all the way to the very bottom. My ass was wet but it was about 4 am and I was about to walk through the biggest park in Edmonton completely alone in the crisp early winter weather. Man that was a nice walk! I've walked through the parks in the summer, but it's fucking scary because it's nice enough out that there could be assholes around every corner waiting to jump you for crack money. Not now, there wasn't a single fresh foot print in the snow and it was too cold for any bum to have the balls to wait around for some one to walk through the park. Psycho's maybe, but I like to think that they're less of them out there then I think. The walk was beautiful! The sky was this very soft pink/blue color that I would like to remember for ever. Everything was illuminated yet there was absolutely no light.

It was a few hours before I got out of the park. When I finally got out of the park, I basically walked in a circle. Two hours had passed when I could of just took a 30 minute path to an area just outside the down town core. My feet were soaking wet because I walked through a puddle. Fortunately a coffee shop was nearby. They had a fireplace that I dried my shoes and socks on. During this time I consumed a big coffee which I could of avoided and read a book about an influential american artist who's name I cannot recall but wish I could.

I tell you, you do not breathe properly or think straight unless you're out in the open air. At one point in the park I tried to nap underneath a few trees that were big enough to keep the ground underneath them free of snow. Just outside of it I marked my territory with pee lol. When you're laying outside unprotected you definitely wouldn't sleep for too long or too deep, you have this natural paranoia of wolves or cougars waiting to eat you.

My walk continued to downtown. I checked out all the gyms in the area, and stopped in the library. Eventually it came to around 11:00 and I wasn't hungry so I was a bit worried. I needed to have a ravage hunger before this buffet. It's weird that I wouldn't of had a hunger by then because I hadn't eaten solid food in 3 days and I danced all night and had been walking for over 10 hours at this point. I ran up the CN tower 20 flights of stairs to incite my hunger and then I ran to the restaurant.

I unfortunately waited at the restaurant without my peeps showing up. Facebook lead me to believe that there was going to be people arriving there, because of the way it was timed, but I was in fact a retard and only assumed something from my brief over-view of the group page. I waited half an hour, enjoyed the pretty decor, drank two cups of possibly the most delicious tea ever and then left because I was taking up a table in the restaurant that was very fast running out of space.

I had a Greenpeace meeting at 1:00 and it was now 12:30. I was expecting a ride back with my team so I had to run to catch the next bus back at the CN tower transfer. Fortunately the bus driver had to run into the tower to use the bathroom so I sneakily snuck on when he wasn't there. The bastard didn't leave his transfer passes so I couldn't catch another bus at whyteave. The bus went half way to the destination I required. I got off at whyteave and ran the rest of the way to my meeting. It was a good hour run at least, maybe longer. The meeting went well, I broke fast for the most delicious home-made almond cookie ever and we painted an amazing banner of epic proportions. It has Frodo in the foreground holding a fluorescent light bulb in place of a sword and the background is the tar sands depicted as mordor. The tar sands are destroying a part of the boreal forest the size of California in Alberta, and emit more carbon into the atmosphere then most European nations. It's so dirty many country's in the world, including the United States will not buy it.

At this point I was already up for about 27 hours. I was dozing in and out of sleep at the beginning of the meeting, having these funny little dreams pass through my head. Unless you're around people or walking you're going to fall asleep. At the end of the meeting every one went to the buffet. I had to mooch $5 because I didn't have quite enough to pay for my end of the supper.

Supper time was busy, the lineup was outside of the door. What else do you expect for an open house buffet at a popular restaurant around 7:00. Waiting in line we graciously got served free tea, and appetizers. Once inside we all sat down to stuff our faces like pigs at a feed lot. I didn't even breathe when I ate my food because it had been three days since I last ate. Man was it good! I am a huge noodle and rice person so this was like a dream come true. Very spicy. I checked my pockets for my $10 and oh to my surprise and luck, it was missing. It had to of fell out of my pocket when I pulled out my tuque and mitts. What a terrible nuisance. Now I didn't even have the balls to ask for bus money because I already had to ask for some one else to cover the vast majority of my meal which I was sorely embarrassed about. I hate looking like a mooching punk. I really should have, because this time I would not get a free ride as I usually do.

It was 8:13 and I had to run! My bus left downtown at 8:30 and I had to work at 9:00. I hadn't eaten in 3 days so my stomach wasn't happy that I had just consumed food until I was about to puke. When I started running I am sure that any one from a 3rd person angle would of laughed their ass off because I was doing this fat waddle/sprint. When I got to the bus stop I JUST caught the bus before it left and my stomach was in a terrible knot from the food and running. I knocked on the window as it was leaving and it came to a stop. I asked her politely if she would let me come on for free of charge because the other day my bus pass was stolen, I was late for work and I really needed to get there! She looked at me, and said "you look like that kid who always asks to get on for free, in fact I think you are him". I said no but she didn't believe me. She drove around the corner and at the next stop asked me to get off. Right when she pulled up she scraped the curb and I got the last laugh when I said "learn how to drive".

I quickly ran to the LRT station just down the road and caught the next train to the University Station where I tried to catch the 4. When I asked this guy, he turned me down too. Told me, "nope son, there's cameras on these new buses and I can't let you on unless you got $2.50.".

With my last $0.35 I use the payphone to call work. The stupid night shift manager was cranky and very unapologetic about my situation despite my eager efforts of making it to work. She told me that she was going to put me on hold until she got the manager and when she did this payphone went dead and I was forced to walk home because I didn't have enough money left to call again. At this point I was up for about 36 hours. I felt pretty damn good and I really wish I could of made of into work because I needed christmas money like a mother fucker and I was looking forward to the walk home at the end of the night because it was absolutely beautiful outside what with all the new snowfall.

It was a good 30 minute walk home from the University in the beautiful snowfall. When I made it upstairs I called back. The first thing I hear "you're fired!". Not good. "You knew you had to make it into work. We always give you days off to go to your stupid concerts last minute and you don't even have the decency to make it in. You're unreliable and you're not working here any more". "BUT MY FUCKING BUS PASS WAS STOLEN AND I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FUCKING MAKE IT ON THE BUS!" I didn't say that quite as loud but that's how I felt. They were unyielding to my attempts at receiving any form of sympathy. "You can pick up your check next Friday".

I don't care.

I had walked over 16 hours that day, and ran the last couple. I fell asleep on the couch really bitchy. I awoke with a sore back after having dreams you can only have after walking for 12 hours, and went to bed again in my bedroom and had a really really intense dream. I was probably lucid in my dream scape for almost 25 minutes. I can only have these dreams after walking that much. The less you sleep the stronger your dreams are. I know this for a fact. The strongest dream I ever had occurred during a 20 minute nap after not sleeping for 3 days.

This is why I hate society. People are so cheap and lazy. We don't walk any more. The only time I feel alive is when I don't sleep for days and walk for more then 12 hours a day. When you don't sleep for more then 24 hours, time slows down and one day feels like three, some times even four! We should migrate with the weather and buffalo (yes I am vegetarian but the natives know their shit!). We should sleep outside under the stars and always be with our friends and family. Not none of this "i'm too tired to play with you son" bullshit. We'd have these 20 minute naps every day otherwise we'd get eaten by cougars (funny reference to earlier topic in post lol).

This whole time I wrote this blog entry, I could of been working on the calendar. Well now that i'm not working nights I will definitely have way more then enough time to work till 4 am. Not tonight though, I have to rest up there's an environmental march tomorrow! I am too lazy to read this again, there may be terrible mistakes. It also may be hard to read because I am jumping from instance to instance in my day.

Juice fast

2008-12-04T16:05:00.004-07:00

Right now I am doing an all liquid fast. Mostly pure blended fruit juices because I haven't been feeling tip top lately due to my attempts at weight gain. I have been trying to gain weight for over 8 months and I have barely gained two pounds. This has left my colon in a state of shock despite all the healthy fiber I eat. I felt good, but I could feel better. I am afraid I'll get appendicitis or something if I keep it up so it's time to be a bit healthier. The past few days I've felt great! This is day three and I am not hungry, but my stomach will grumble very angrily.

All you have to do is drink liquids and only liquids. Water, juice, pop, coffee, beer. It doesn't really matter. This is great if you want to lose weight. My friend is on day 13 and he has already lost 15 lbs or so. The only liquids that aren't particularly bad for you because they're not processed are blended fruit juices such as blended banana and carrot juice. Make sure you chop up your carrots finely or you will break your blender.

You can take natural laxatives such as orange juice, tea, coffee or hot cocoa to speed things up. Don't drink too much or else it will bugger up your fast. If you decide to break down and eat food, eat only healthy things and don't be afraid to start right back up again. This is much easier then actual fasting because you can still consume pretty much anything you want, all the time and the rules are very simple; only drink liquids. This is also an easy way to save money on food lol...

I've went over a week without food, and three days without water. When I was water fasting I meditated in a sauna for over half an hour on day 2 and 3. Man was I dry! I had no water in my mouth, etc. Very weird feeling I tell you, when I got out of the sauna my whole body was vibrating. I went outside and meditated and slowly it went away. I could also smell a very very pretty smell around me for about half an hour. It still comes back to me to this day. Some people in poorer country's of the world have no water and very very dirty water. They go weeks without water, surviving on very little.

Information on polyps, very high probability of getting one in western society

SOLID FOOD IS GOOD FOR YOU! BUT, in western society we eat waaay too much. The highest rates of stomach cancer/colon cancer in the world. When you eat too much you're always tired, slow and you just smell bad! lol ;)

Try not to feed your ego.

just had a crazy dream

2008-12-02T04:38:00.003-07:00

In the previous post I made about global warming I talked about nuclear power. In this dream I just had it was a nightmare about nuclear power. They were performing sick experiments of the most terrible kind and the waste would be something no one would ever want to be near. A monster erupted from the experiments with bajillions of red tentacles that would strangle and kill people a long ways away. Britney spears was in the dream lulz. Regardless, nuclear power was not a happy site to see. It was ran by the military and corrupt scientists.

Backwards

2008-11-29T16:57:00.004-07:00

So much to do, so little time. Christmas is fast approaching. Some one died the other day when they were trampled by other shoppers trying to get into a walmart on a sales day.

Family, friends, relaxation, time off, food, lights, candy canes. I love Christmas, it's probably my favorite Holiday next to only Halloween. Christmas is calming, hyper, peaceful and hopefully filled with snow!

I hate night shifts. They fuck up your sleeping patterns and they don't pay worth a fuck. I'd quit but the people I work with are fairly peaceful for the most part and I need money for Christmas.

I am designing the 2009 Greenpeace calendar in my spare time for my friend. My original concept had an animal for every month, but that's apparently not eco-chic so it was cut lol. This is the wolf I had designed for January.

a light was blinking in my hallway. Worthy of a video I think.

twilight is one better then boredom.

I know stuff about global warming!

2008-11-26T23:42:00.004-07:00

Yeah that's right, I am edumacated. I went to a seminar at the UofA presented by nobel prize winner, Andrew Weaver.

The lowdown: in the past 100 years the all of the top 10 hottest years have been in the last 10 years. On top of that the worlds carbon levels have never been as high as they are now in the last million years. Something's wrong with the picture here!

It was a very good presentation, he had a bunch of graphs with meticulous data that was a bit hard to understand and he was a very smart happy fellow who had a wicked vibe.

If we don't change by 2020 we're going to see extreme drought all over the world. There's hope though, if we implement new policy's and back political leaders who have a green initiative then we could stamp out our deadly carbon imprint.

I really liked the way he described global warming as cancer. We have the flue which would be plastic bags, the cold which could be deforestation, but the real killer is the cancer, which is global warming.

What's really weird is that he was pro-nuclear. Apparently the negative effects of nuclear keep the waste in our backyard, unlike coal and other types of energy which pollute the entire world.

The new industrial nations such as China and India are apparently going to have a big effect on the pollution in the world as well. Apparently they want a "higher quality of life" damn them!

Made apple pie/sauce

2008-11-23T16:45:00.004-07:00

I was walking home from work and I decided to take an alternate path from my usual way home because I hate walking beside the main road the whole time. I walked for a few hours, before I heard a bird chirping in the distance. Now the thing about birds, is they're sneaky. They can be your friend, or your enemy; poop on your hood or sing you a pretty song.

One of my favorite movies, animals are beautiful people. It's a documentary on the life of animals in the Sahara. There's a bird who would help a badger (some sort of animal I don't remember, I think it was a badger) find honey by leading the badger to the honey by singing. The badger follows the birds song and he eventually finds the honey. As a reward the badger will leave the bird some honey. On the other hand, when a hunter tried to bag a gazelle the same bird whistled a warning and the hunter never got his game.

Now when I heard this bird singing I thought "he wants me to find something, I know it." How do I know this? The world loves me, it has proven this to me on several occasions through coincidences and what would almost seem like near miracles of oddity. Now I am not saying I haven't experienced cruelty, my life is as hard as any ones some times but if you believe enough, and you open enough doors of spiritual soul searching, you're bound to run into odd good fortune.

Anywayyys. I followed the birds whistling and I came to a tree, and this tree was full of fruit. This tree is unlike any apple tree you will find. It was the middle of October and frost had already fallen and this tree still had a bajillion apples on it. In the middle of summer you don't see tree's like this. There wasn't a single leaf, just apples. It was a very heart warming vision. As if in death this tree gives vital life to the world around it.

I fortunately had my back pack on at this time and it was completely empty. I loaded it all the way up with apples. So full by the time I finished my long walk around the city my back had a decent ache going. Good workout!

Tasty apples.

That's about 1/3rd of the apples.

and the pie!

turned out good :d

pardon the excessive size, I don't have the time to resize them atm. Maybe later.

Ahh cold shower

2008-11-20T18:08:00.003-07:00

A human body gives off as much heat as an 100W incandescent light bulb apparently. I'm not surprised. When you feel the back of your neck/shoulders or the top of your head there's a ridiculous amount of heat pouring from it. Humans are not meant to be inside all the time, wrapped up in sweaters and socks. We'd be roaming around in our bare body's appreciating the breeze around our privates while skinny dipping in the local river.

All this extreme heat makes us tired and very unprepared for the raw reality of natures real climate. Plus we're not aware of how hot we really are. When I take a cold shower, I cool my entire body to the core and it's one of the best feeling's that I could tell any one about. If you're nothing but a puss and can't take cold showers turn the cold on after a hot shower and count to 100. I've been taking cold showers successfully for over a year now. They're amazing! They're good for your soul and mind. It's not as cold as you think because the air inside the shower is warm. Imagine taking a cold shower in a -20 room. NOW THAT WOULD BE CHILLY ><

100 year old man takes cold showers

Cold showers have the following positive effects:

* Brings blood to the capillaries, therefore increasing circulation throughout the body.

* Cleans the circulatory system.

* Reduces blood pressure on internal organs.

* Provides flushing for the organs and provides a new supply of blood.

* Strengthens the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems.

* Contracts the muscles to eliminate toxins and poisonous wastes.

* Strengthens the mucous membranes, which help resist hay fever, allergies, colds, coughs.

source

Halloween Adventure

2008-11-14T12:16:00.005-07:00

I am really behind on my blog posts because I have had very little time lately. Why? My creative juices have actually been flowing lately pretty strongly and their demands seem to hold most of my time.

Halloween went over pretty well.

mah costume

My deadmau5 costume was a big hit. At the end of the night the alarm was pulled. Really annoying. The whole night was really turbulent actually, very halloweenesque. Good night altogether though. Music was tight all night.

Here's a picture I made from my friend BlueHippo's art. I like what I did with his work personally. All the patterns are his, I just assembled it and threw a pretty flower in the middle.

This is all that I have time for now! I have been writing down some thoughts that ill be putting up shortly.

Pumpkin-Smashing

2008-11-05T12:24:00.001-07:00

Im cool.

2008-10-27T21:21:00.000-06:00

Stealing kids halloween candy

2008-10-26T01:11:00.003-06:00

Fucking deadlines. I have 3 halloween flashes that I want to finish by Oct 31. I really doubt I will finish them all with work and all that jazz. The current one I am making is turning out half-assed but it will still be good.

I am fasting until Halloween. Spirits are alive on that hallowed night and if you're bogged down with a bunch of shit you truly wont be alive. A lack of food throws your body into over-drive, and combined with a lack of sleep, it's a very awesome feeling until you hit day 4 and you really start to hit bottom.

It's really fucking windy! Holy fuck. 80+ km/h I think. The whole apartment was shaking and I heard extremely loud bangs. It sounded like a chainsaw was running at all times. It's from all the deforestation! I am sure.

I made Alura into the clown. kind of suiting considering that she use to be a jugallette hardcore.

I really like how it turned out. I spent waaay too much precious time on something very unimportant considering my deadlines and other work. I think she needs more expression considering her subject. Maybe i'll change it later.

Das about it for now... nothing too crazy going on, I had a whack dream about the exorcist this morning, woke up scared actually! "The prophecy will come true", and me and a team of people stood in the way and won. I wonder what would happen if it came true... :\

Hmm...

2008-10-20T00:53:00.002-06:00

I recently had a dream about the depression again. A girl was drawing water from an empty well. She was filling the bucket for the very last time. The well was so empty that you could throw a rock into it, and a rock would come out back at you. The well was a symbol for the economy. The well was very deep and normally would be full of precious water. Now that it was empty obviously things would be different. I went to the very bottom of the well and at the bottom there was a godly voice leading a group of people in what would seem like to be a rain dance. Asking the Gods to once again refill the well of prosperity. It was sad.

I said earlier that I laughed when I heard about the recession. Mostly because when I posted that I predicted a recession on my blog I felt really open to attack because if I was wrong then I would be insulted, thought crazy for having dreams I can't control. Now I realize how devastating this really could be. Unicef is up in arms because the amount of people in utter poverty is expected to increase from 40 million to 900, I just read in the paper the other day. Imagine! That's practically a 1/4 of the world in complete poverty. What will happen...

Stuff

2008-10-16T18:00:00.003-06:00

So I am working on Halloween flash movies right now. I just finished a photoshop for a competition on Newgrounds.com

I never got to finish it all in time for the deadline, which really would of been nice. I may still finish it, I am not sure. I am really bad for finishing unfinished projects.

Camp North - Cody's story ideas<-- my Halloween flash ideas, check em out.

I recently have been meditating more. I have actually put effort into it and achieved great results. I breathe to the time of music mostly, in for 8 breaths out for 16. To get the best results you practically have to hyperventilate (breathe in and out really deep really fast). I have managed to achieve 2 hour meditation sessions. It gives you really really good energy. My hands go ice cold, my face goes cold as well, I start perspiring and my head becomes really light headed. When you get up you have fierce energy. In the past I have meditated to a point of out of mind experiences.

I recently seen armin van buuren. It was an all white affair.

I had a dream that he was beside me in all white one morning. He gave me bliss and I woke up feeling very energized and extremely happy. His sets were awesome. He did 5 good hours and if you wanna hear some bitchin new techno I recommend you download some of his latest state of trance episodes.

State of trance Oct 16

starts out kinda slow but is sweet

enhancing dreams

2008-10-05T03:39:00.000-06:00

Do you like to dream? Do you have problems dreaming and remembering your dreams? I am a big dreamer. I love to dream. I have a dream log of 170+ pages and I have done extensive amounts of sleep testing to find out just what works and what doesn't when it comes to inducing the best dreams.

Dreams are influenced by all the factors in your daily life that effect your health. Sleep, food, exercise, breathing, and patternization. You need to control and harness these variables to achieve the greatest results. You have to want to dream, if you don't want it, it wont find you. This means you have to be open and willing.

To lucid dream means that you are awake when you are dreaming. I haven't achieved TRUE lucid dreaming, but I have achieved the equivelent and possibly better. When you lucid dream everything becomes super-real and you awareness is focused for a period of about 2-10 minutes. It's one of the greatest feelings on this earth and possibly better then sex, food or exercise in my opinion.

Your dreams are effected by a hormone called Seratonin. The more seratonin build up you have in your brain the harder and stronger your dreams are. When you sleep your brain uses up seratonin and when you're awake it builds up seratonin. This means if you sleep a lot your brain wont make it correctly. To properly induce seratonin production you have to sleep deprive yourself for about three days. Sleep deprivation is key to controlling your dreams.

The best way to avoid extreme sleep deprivation is by napping. Taking little naps (every 4 hours for about 20 minutes) will give you greater sleep control. Eventually it develops into a pattern and your mind makes a large amount of REM in a very short period of time due to necessity. If you do this enough it develops into a pattern and you will have really strong powerfull dreams every time you nap. It's really out of this world. The 20 minute nap will give you a stronger dream then a full night sleep ever could.

To make seratonin you need sugar/carbs/tryptophan. This means if you don't eat you don't get sleepy. This doesn't mean you should over-eat, because if you eat too much you will fall asleep. What this means is that you should have a proper diet. Tryptophan directly turns into seratonin. It's found in things like banana's and sesame seeds.

Exercise isn't necessary but man do you get amazingly restfull sleeps if you turn over your insulin through exercise. They're the most peacefull dreams you could imagine. I like walking. It's a great way to stay awake and I have gone on walks that have lasted longer then 12 hours. I usually average a 1 hour walk a day, 4 hour walks every 2-3 days and on sunday I like to go on a super-walk.

It's important that you keep a pattern of your sleep. This creates balance and control. Sleep deprivation doesn't necessarily mean you should stay up all night. A better way to sleep deprive yourself is to get up really really early. Try going to bed at midnight or earlier, no later. The later you stay up the more REM builds up and the harder you will crash. Unless you stay up for 2-3 days in a row it's not good to stay up all night. When I go to bed at midnight I usually wake up at around 3:00 am in the morning, usually not that tired. Make sure you sleep properly!

Avoid caffiene and eating at night. If you want to sleep, eat, because the sugar will put yourself to sleep but unless you want to wake up tired you want to avoid eating. I also try not to eat until a few hours after I wake up because I will fall back asleep after I have eaten.

Fasting is an amazing way to avoid sleep as well. If you don't eat for a full day your insulin turns over and your brain doesn't have any "junk" in it so it's clean and operating without confusion. It's a weird feeling when you have hit midnight, haven't slept for over 24 hours and you're not tired and you can "watch" your brain function. It's one of the coolest feelings you can have.

Before bed rituals are important. When you lay in bed try to recall everything you did that day. Mentally pick up a "mind remote" and press rewind and replay everything that you have done in your day backwards. It helps increase dream recall. Remember to brush your teeth, take a piss and take a shit.

So as a recap:

-Don't be a pig! Over eating is bad for you. Try not to eat for days at a time and see what happens. I have gone over a week without food I assure you, you will be fine. Worst case scenario you lose a few pounds. Food is very important! I like banana's.

-Make a pattern and try to hold it. This means going to bed by midnight and waking up really early. Take naps during the after noon, on a regular basis and every week try to go two days without sleep altogether.

-Have a before bed ritual, bathroom, meditation, watching your day backwards, praying, etc.

-You have to want to dream. The more you want it the more it will come to you.

-Sleep deprive yourself. You want to wake up early as oppose to stay up late, but not sleeping for a few days will make you feel insane and you will have crazy dreams as a result if you can harness your REM. When you sleep you use seratonin when you're awake you make it.

-Take naps. 20 minute naps every 4 hours instead of sleeping long periods at a time.

-Exercise, particularily really hard cardio.

-certain drugs effect seratonin. You can get 5HTP pills that directly effect your seratonin production. Some people who have sleep problems take them to help them sleep.

-Don't take speed. Speed blocks REM from happening, which ultimately makes you retarded if you do it too much.

Think about how much of your life is spent sleeping. You will have lived half the time as a man who slept half as much as you. When you have gone a few days without sleep it's an amazing feeling. 10:00 am feels like 6:00 pm.

Famous nappers (polyphasic sleep ie: 20 minute naps every 4 hours) include Vinci, Edison, Tesla, Churchill, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and even Bruce Lee.

When you don't sleep you have more hormones in your blood, more cortisol, more epinpherine, more human growht hormone. It's the most amazing feeling in your life, it's like you're on steroids. You actually feel alive. Excess sleep is actually bad for you.

I have amazing dreams every day. I wake up from naps in pure pleasure more then 3 times in a day some days. I hear beautiful music at least 3x a week and I have seen more then 3 different aliens. Discuss your dreams and what not.

War

2008-09-30T03:47:00.003-06:00

I just had a dream that we were all going to be conscripted (the men) and war was coming. Now wouldn't that fucking suck? We were all in a line, and I was sent to the front to wait for what I bet was just going to be an air bombing raid. It felt prophetic but at the same time it wasn't a really strong dream so we'll have to see. It kind of peaked at the end and that's when the army dream kind of kicked in.

I went over this before, I don't want to be conscripted. If it ever happens, sure i'll probably go because all the cool kids are doing it, but it would feel fucking retarded to get killed with a million other people while I could of just kicked around still and you know, maybe repopulate the earth after everyone dies. Man a war would suck.

FALL!

2008-09-29T05:08:00.003-06:00

The leaves are falling. I am sooo looking forward to Halloween and Christmas. My theory as to why I love this season so much is because it's near my Birthday. That happens to be coming up in... 4 days. I will be 20. Leaving my teen years is an odd feeling. I remember when my cousins were all turning 20, now they're fuckin' old. The years seem to just blitz by. What have they done with their life? Work, sleep, friends, travel. I think that's what most people do anyway. How boring huh?

I am in my pajama pants and it's 5:10 am. I woak up at 3:00 am this morning feeling fresh. The thing about waking up early is that I am not tired, but I don't want to work either. Easily the best time to go for walks because your mind is just settling. It's still pitch black out and normally the sun would of been rising now. I am a night person so this winter-bleakness and blackness will be lame but something I can manage. I looove winter walks. No one around, silence, clean-whiteness.

I keep sleeping on the couch, and it bothers my back. Falling asleep to the roar of the TV is a horrible pattern to fall into. It's too easy to just let the eyes roll into the back of your head as the commercials fly by mindlessly. I hate TV but eventually by the end of the night you don't want to do anything and you're not tired enough to go to bed and the evil TV trap occurs and I wake up with a sore back.

I have been dreaming still more then ever lately.

Coyotes and Capitalism

2008-09-22T20:58:00.010-06:00

Last weekend I went out to find some nice basketball courts and I ended up having a really intense night. I seen a nicer side to the streets of edmonton. Instead of getting hassled and threatened by bums the bums gave me beer for once :).

It started out on a conquest to find the courts near a local high school but low and behold after I arrived, nothing. I did find a tasty unopened oatmeal bar though. I ventured on to whiteave and I played on a few garage baskets. I then played on a net till dark at a big religious school that had like 5 floors. Made some good shots. Lately I have been making shots that even impress myself. It's always a good feeling when you know you've got enough mojo going to make a swish from half court a couple times in a row.

There was a pretty waterfall on the bridge for some sort of anniversary of Edmonton and there was a bunch of lights. I decided to walk underneath the bridge to get a good view and when I was walking through I noticed a fire in the distance. I was bored, so in spite of the fireworks above I decided to go see what he was cookin'.

He was a nice guy, he wasn't a bum. I offered him money and instead he offered me a beer. Apparently he kind of hated the world and chose to drink away the problems. Got bullied back home in Newfoundland by dickhead oil workers and decided to move west. I sat with him and chatted, he had a nice vibe to him, but he deffinitely had a drinking problem he wasn't willing to talk about. I unmindedly dug into the ground and unearthed a necklace that had a canadian leaf on it. It was really cool. I decided to give him the newly found necklace. It was kind of a surreal moment because I found the canadian leaf blindly. I didn't know it was there and I found it as soon as I started digging if you know what I mean.

I continued on after I had my beer and left him to eat his food that he finished cooking and I ran into two ladies who were smoking a joint. I rarely get stoned since I have moved but they were cute and I took up their offer to smoke weed with em'. They were crossing the walking bridge to get to whyteave. I got MAD stoned and we both went our seperate ways.

While I was crossing the walking bridge I ran into a cool rody taking down the lighting fixture for the waterfall. I offered him a hand. I told him I was stoned and he seemed to find that funny. Finally doing work again, like taking down a t-bar is the best feeling. You don't know how much you enjoy work until it's gone. I had a seriously good vibe going at this point. He told me that the company he was working for was hiring so I may have to talk to them about getting some part time work. Working at home without Karate is the worst fucking death sentance a person can have. You always have work to do and there's never any reason to leave the house except to get food or go for walks and for some reason since you're so inept because of inactivity you don't really get much work done.

The next person I ran into was just down the road. He was a photographer, very nice fellow. I ran my mouth off in a spree of baked stupor for about half an hour before we split ways when he was done taking pictures. He was very reserved and mellow. Cool guy to run into right after you get stoned.

This is a photo he took while we chilled. It was great timing, both trains came at the same time.

I walked around downtown dribbling until I ran into two guys in wheelchairs drinking beer behind a building. They were both obviously too disabled at that point to really ever hope for much and were drinkin' away the night in good humour. They probably drank too much. I chatted with them for a while and they offered me a beer which I guzzled. The one really desired to fuck women. I tried to explain to him the purpose of love, the fact that they're not objects and he didn't really seem to get it. Getting it's great, but how a persons mind brings out you, is what makes them special. When they're not around you can't be happy any more. He didn't really seem to understand. I later left despite the offer of another beer. The other one had an electric wheelchair, his name was Leon.

At this point the night was winding down and I had probably been walking around for a few hours, maybe 4. I found a really nice spot over looking Edmonton that I will have to photograph some day.

The trains were closed at this point but I didn't know this. I ran into some kids who were drugged up who were also waiting for the train. I told them not to over do it because drugs taken improperly can leave you very depressed if you don't know what you're doin'.

The walk home was chilly but not bad. I crossed the bridge, walked around the UofA, shot a couple baskets in the chilly morning and decided to go home after I bought a sesame snap at Shoppers Drug Mart. The guy was really nice at the till, I only had 31cents and the sesame snap came to like 50 cents. He gave it to me for cheap and I appreciated this. Some people can't do that, they count pennies hard, hell I don't even know if I could do that because when I cash out I know I get in trouble if I am even 30 cents short.

On my way through residential half way home I made some comment about a guys eco-car while he was in his garage and he came out and ushered me inside. He was getting stoned and he offered me some. He was a chiropracter and was a very cool guy. He was just as insane as me which is a hard thing to find in people. He had the same kind of dreams as me and also has had alien visions. We chatted for a long time before he said he had to get going home to his lady. I thought he was 25, but when I asked his age he told me he was 40 which really really blew me away. He apparently has been doing Tai-Chi for over 15 years. His place is easy to find I'll probably stop in there again before I die for sure. What was even better was he gave me 2.50 to get my favorite cookies as I burned out.

I was super-stoned and I went and got those cookies. Man those organic Nativa cookies are amazing. I ate half the box sitting at the bus stop at whyte ave, too much of a pussy to walk home because it was too windy. A coyote crossed the road ahead of me. I never seen a coyote before. Man they're small. I bet it was hunting for cats and rabbits, most likely mice lol. I had no bus fair but I still got a ride, but he was hesitant lol. I think I got home around 6:00.

About the capitalism. I'll make a big post about this, but it's a disease. I made a terrible essay in Highschool about how it was good because I basically coppied another persons essay that got really high marks. Stuff about lowering price by demand and so forth, but when you think about it, greed is the only driving factor behind sales. If every one didn't spend money on themselves capitalism would be amazing but since we're subjected to endless amounts of advertising and greed we are left as a raped society. Turned into zombie consumers who are addicted to society. Half-alive and half-free.

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAAK AAHHH. (yeah I have been sleeping in lately, sue me)

Your religion

2008-09-21T02:40:00.013-06:00

I think some people have some sort of shit religion/belief system that they use as an excuse to avoid any form of sacrifice. Some sort of smart idealism about experiencing adrenaline, becoming great, or living to some rich code of ethics. It's just a ploy and you're only using society's lameness as a way for you to use your talents as an excuse for you to get what ever you want and avoid any form of sacrifice.

The devil would be at ones throat I think if they thought all one had to do in life was make sure their lawn was mowed and their fence was painted. We're addicted to tomorrow, our lives orientated around consumption and accumulation. We should live for the now instead.

Know the wolf for when he growls your heart will shiver and his nose can smell your fear.

This is from a nightmare I had this morning involving the very rich and a reflection of my own belief system. Kinda trying to be poetic here.

"global economic crisis"

2008-09-19T04:16:00.009-06:00

This morning on the BBC after I woak up at 3:30 am I saw on the news there was a "global economic crisis" which I think is funny. Banks are apparently shelling out to cover losses.

"Last Updated: September 19, 2008: 12:24 PM EDT

AMERICA'S MONEY CRISIS

* Treasury's bailout proposal
* Bush wants OK to spend $700B
* Judge OKs Lehman unit sale to Barclays
* Big bailout: Where things stand
* 'Sobering moment'

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The federal government is on the verge of instituting the most sweeping intervention in the financial markets since the Great Depression."

I just had some oatmeal. Deeelicious. I can see out my window from my 24 story apartment and I can view all of the entire down town. Every single big tower in the distance. Very pretty.

I seen the Lock Ness Monster in my dreams recently. The fucking lockness monster. Here's what it kind of looked like. This is a VERY quick sketch. It was very magical to be in its presence, I could feel the reality of it. It was elegant, smart and feminine.

Also, I seen an alien. This picture is not quite done yet. A two legged alien impregnated a deer and this was its offspring. I really don't do it justice at all because the face was too impossible to ever recreate. It was perfect. It was very sleek, skinny and smart.

Cold showers

2008-09-19T04:16:00.007-06:00

If you don't have cold showers I recommend you start. You don't realize how hot your body is until you start having cold showers. Your whole body becomes super-relaxed when you cool the core of your body. It's like for 5 minutes your body can actually function. I have been having them for almost a year now and I don't know what I would do without them. It's not that bad because the air around you is actually quite warm so you don't actually get that cold and could actually stay in the shower for quite a while if you wanted to. Now to have a cold shower in cold air would be something.

My karate class was full. This sucks so much you don't understand. Karate is my life blood, without it I became stagnant and I have no place to exert any of my energy. I will probably join something else like Tennis, Badminton or Tae Kwon Do. What sucks is that this particular class is my favorite. I have been ran so hard I have almost passed out before. It's an amazing feeling. Tae Kwon Do is good though because the sparring is very rigorous.

I found another freakin' pack of cigarettes

2008-09-15T12:43:00.002-06:00

I found another full pack of cigarettes. I was walking on my way to the movie theater and it was just laying there, 100% in good condition and everything. On my way to the movie theater I ran into some smokers who were out so it was kinda lucky that they ran into me because they gave their last primetime to a girl to get ice cream.

On my way back from the movie theater I decided to smoke one. I had to bum a lighter from these nice people who worked in the movie theater who were standing outside having a smoke before their shift. I finished only a quarter of it before I decided that I had enough. Was a wicked buzz, since I never smoke, I breathed in deeply after and I got a big head rush and I felt really high. Smoking does bad things to your lungs, get weird stitches in your sides unlike smoking weed.

I decided to sneak into a closed construction site that had a security trailer with the lights on in the back. It was sketchy, I kept running into wires and junk because it was pitch black. It was a great combo, an adrenaline rush for fear of getting caught with a cigarette, made me feel on edge and actually alive. I got to the top and then I peed off of the roof of the 5-7 story building and quickly made my way home.

What's even funnier is I stopped in at Save on Foods to get some nuts and an avocado and I got my entire $9.50 bag of food bought for me by a lady who was way too nice. I was 50 cents short and I could of returned a couple items but instead I asked if any one had any change to spare. Every one was obliging and not only did I get an extra 50 cents but by the time I went to pay for my food it was already payed for in full by the lady ahead of me. :D

I seen the movie Righteous Kill at the theaters. Not bad, kind of stupid as it's a cop movie that kind of plays on a persons expectation of the dark side of society but at the same time it's interesting to see the cops perspective of justice. You work on the force for too long, and see too many innocent people get hurt you're bound to get a little crazy from all that excessive adrenaline pumping through their veins 24/7.

I had a vision for a tattoo this morning, I was laying on the couch watching TV and I half shifted in and out of precociousness and I seen a raven with a black widow emblem on its chest and it stared at me, and told me to make it a tattoo. It's bad ass enough that I could consider putting it on my body some where. Also had some very wicked dreams during my morning nap.

1:44

2008-09-12T01:44:00.003-06:00

I found a pack of smokes today, and I smoked one just now. I have never found anything addicting in my life besides chocolate. So we will see where this pack of smokes take me. I doubt I will smoke the whole pack. What I usually do when I find cigarettes, is I trade the entire pack of smokes for a joint. I don't like smoking, and that smoke I just had was no exception, it was nice sure, but it definitely wasn't weed.

Speaking of weed, I have recently quit. I have managed over 8 months before summer holidays, and now that summer is over I am quitting again because weed is a waste of time and it's fucking expensive.

Right. I found the pack of cigarettes after my UofA seminar on Alberta Tar Sands today. Interesting seminar, and it left me with quite a bad taste in my mouth regarding the tar sands. The envirnonmental foot print they leave is unlike any other type of oil harvesting and it uses insane amounts of natural gas. They had a fancy teacher in who gave a whole bunch of boring facts. Words like "billions" and "contaminated water" floated around quite a bit, then a person who lived in the valley of the tar sands who talked about how there was beautiful soil before they confiscated their land and persecuted those who lived on it who tried to fight back. Lastly Mike Hudema did a very very good presentation on how bad the tar sands were. The royalty's will cause Alberta to make very little to no profit and all of the oil will be exported to the States, how fucking stupid.

Coca-cola is addicting, and my mom keeps buying it. I some how managed to quit coca-cola for over 4 months or so and just recently my mom bought an entire case, and the first three were terribly strong and man did I get an insane coca-cola high. Coca-cola cannot be compared to any other type of pop.

RAAAH. I miss school. Chilling at the UofA today makes me want to take some sort of easy course so I can just loiter and act like a student even though I am taking something stupid and simple like Art or radio broadcasting. I love art. Art has always been my medium of choice to express myself since my wee years as a child. Music on the other hand has been a way for me to express my energy less my emotion.

Turning 20 in a few months. Never thought this day would come. I seriously felt like I would always be some sort of adolescent for the rest of my days and now that 20 is finally rearing on me I just can't really see myself accomplishing anything important by the time I am 25. Many of my friends have already had children or are still with the same girlfriend/boyfriend they've been with since grade 7 or are in university and I just feel like I am out of the loop. Alone watching from the side lines as they do something. I could easily get a girl pregnant and instantly feel important, but fuck that I have no desires to become a dad any time soon. My child would probably surpass me in a few short years though lol...

Ozzy. Is good. Yeaaah. Alura was in the Herald Tribune that's cool... Money, soon... I hope. Living off this piss ant amount of money is stressfull.

BKLAJDF.

I don't have to have reason to post. They want you to think you do. that's a lie.

i am just going to post a picture I drew recently

Stupid hackers

2008-09-09T22:17:00.006-06:00

One of the sites I work for got hacked today. Well not hacked but a virus. Real nuisance, I didn't get to go to my green peace meeting and I am still working on fixing all the stupid crap that has autoinstalled onto the FTP. Not a big deal, could be much worse, could of been an actual hacker not a malicious autoscript.

Today I was walking in from picking up my stuff that Kristin dropped off before she moved to Vancouver and I ran into a girl who lives next to me. We got to talking about how energy prices are through the roof and the rent has been hiked to something completely ridiculous and there are nicer apartments for much cheaper in other parts of the city when I brought up how I thought a recession in the economy was coming. Low and behold she is really involved in economics, has gone to school and studies it extensively and said that she does expect a major depression soon, nothing the likes have been seen since the 30's but not any in the very near future. I told her about the dreams I have been having and she quite agreed just not so soon. What's even weirder is I had another one this morning predicting imminent economic collapse. It was a deep sleep dream which was fairly strong so I am not quick to just throw it off because it's fairly similar to my other predicting dreams. People will be at each others throats if this ever happens because when people are tested at their worst they tend to just each other.

People are generally cock sucking lamers.*anger from earlier events in the day*

Shambhala

2008-09-09T20:11:00.001-06:00

Here's a video of me at shambhala. It was early morning, sun just rose and the grass was wet from the morning dewww.

Back from a morning walk

2008-09-08T11:08:00.003-06:00

Man was it nice out this morning besides being a little chilly. I like the universe because just when you think every thing is out to get you something cool and unique will happen just to show you that the world is actually a pretty sweet place. You just need to be reminded every once in a while. I wasn't saying that universe sucks or anything because it's awesome and lately I have felt better then ever.

But today I was walking and I saw a dying bird on the road. It wasn't bleeding but it looked like it ran into wall at full speed and probably would never fly again. Now, I have tried to take care of injured birds in the past. Never really worked out. He ended up losing all his tail feathers for some stupid reason after it got out of its box. This was a little bird. This bird was a mag pie and there is no way I could of helped it. I decided to use my coat to pick it up and take it to the vet. The nearest vet was past whyteave on 109th so i cheerfully walked with this bird that did not want to be picked up. I eventually got there and they said that they probably couldn't do anything. It wasn't until a nice lady who was obviously a pretty cool woman around the office suggested they could take it in that they changed their minds. They just needed a little persuasion.The absolute truth is, they probably just put it down. Why? Because it takes too much time and money and attention to look after such a sick and tired bird. BUT you never know, maybe the wildlife sanctuary had the time to even pick it up and it actually is getting the care it deserves.

Here's a picture of the poor finch or w/e it was that I caught a year or so ago.

Back from a run/walk

2008-09-03T22:01:00.004-06:00

I have over 50+ unpublished posts. I was crazy when I was younger, I wrote everything on here. One day I got a message saying "I am going to give this blog to your dad" it really irked me because I have never even met my dad before and the person didn't even have the balls to leave their name.

Anyway, since then I have become much cleaner with my posts to some extent. I still REALLY really, really, don't care that much because if any one ever wants to read stuff that I write, I want them to read it.

So these old posts, I had silly predictions and stuff. Lately, I have been having more "dream" predictions. All the really strong ones tell me that war is approaching. The way I see it, we will go into a big depression before we ever go to war. Gas prices will be out of the roof, food will not be on the shelves, etc. I think it will happen this year actually, by March some serious shit will go down. If I am wrong... well it would be the first. I knew one of my best friends from elementary was getting married before I found out when I was told and I didn't even know he had a girlfriend because I hadn't seen him for 6 years. I knew winter was going to relapse and last another month. One morning my uncle was really sick, and I saw it in my dream and I called him and he told me it was one of his worse days.

The only thing that will bring us out of the depression? War. In ten years I'd say is when the war will reach home. I doubt it would ever be war, but shit loads of people, I bet hundreds of thousands will die. Bla bla bla. This is stupid, I am going to move on, but mark my words, something silly is going to happen soon. I bet it will be right after the new president comes into power because Bush's office was only preventing the inevitable until the whole fury of the problem could fall into some one elses lap, most likely Barrack Obama. Regardless he would be a strong leader in a time of disruption.

You see most people really doubt there ever could be a complete break down of the United States but I disagree. They've been high and mighty for too long and lately the tides have sort of been evening out. Nuclear weapons aren't just owned by the US any more and that was a real big clincher.

The thing is that there are huge trade sanctions between nations. Russia can't trade with Uruguay and Uruguay can't trade with Indonesia, etc etc (I don't actually know these sanctions obviously) all I know is that you can get AK47's in Russia for about 2.50 while if you were to buy guns from the US it costs 10x that and if you don't buy them from the United States they put a trade sanction on you and your country starves and visa versa for Russia.

What's even CRAZIER is that Russia just invaded Georgia and the Nato pact was just dropped. So they're arming while we're here getting fat. Literally, I am purposely getting fat these days and canning fruit and pickling eggs because I am afraid that something's gonna fuck up (my dreams told me to take weight gain formula and can fruit LOL).

I am not too worried though. I am not special, 3/4's of the world is starving and I am personally really bored of living on the computer. I just don't know if I would skip the draft. Who has the right to tell me I have to kill other human beings? Im going to end this. I'd probably go and die like any good canadian would :/ otherwise who am I. PEACE.

Remember to brush your teeth!

2008-08-28T04:27:00.004-06:00

Yeah, that's right. Good dental hygeine is amazing for keeping your gums, and gummers in tip top tight condition. I recently racked up around $1000 in dental bills because during my teen years I some how came up with the idea that it was good to drink 5-8 cans of pop a day and stay up till 3 am playing video games. While I didn't get fat like a person thinks they would from drinking that much pop, I did become hyperglycemic and very lazy... Pop is the evil scourge. Looking back I can't really understand how I was able to drink that much. Apparently the reason your teeth fall out and become really gross is because of the bacteria on your gums, not your teeth, so it's really important to floss, and brush your cheeks and tongue.

ANYWAY, that's all in the past. My teeth will be kept clean from now on. The great thing about writing stuff down is that it is an affirmative action that you are deciding to do something. Even if you do fall short of your goal at least you got half way there instead of blowing off all the work from the start.

So, I skipped my naps, drank a bunch of coffee because I had a bunch of energy and now I am near crashing. I don't think I am going to go to sleep today. I really need a nap now, but fuck it; if I take a nap I will fall asleep for hours. That's bad. I've went days without sleep and felt great, it's just hard sitting at the computer because it can only amuse you so much.

Anyway; I was doing some fancy grafitti work on face book right? Right near the end when I was going to publish this great and beautiful masterpeice I made for my friend, guess what? The back button is magically pressed and it's deleted. How? I have no idea. My hand wasn't on the keyboard and I was using my wacom tablet which doesn't have a back button on the pen. Regardless to say I was pretty bummed, not too upset because I have learned that getting angry really doesn't help matters much at all. Unless I decide to get angry, then I am angry and there's no going back. lulzy. Just to give you an idea of how much work went into this terrible night, my hand was cramped so badly and so cold I had to sit on it for a good 4-5 minutes every 2 hours.

I should have a shower or something, it would feel weird at the moment. Every time I bathe in vast quantities of water, or even use the toilet or do the dishes I am reminded that I have oodles of water, while the poor bastards in the other parts of the world have extremely contaminated water, or no water at all. Unlucky fucks. I guess that's why life's not fair and you shouldn't take what you have for granted. I bet one day that gets all sorted out to some extent once technology advances. Robots will be assigned to city's to clean everything up; new probiotic bacteria will clean the water instead of making it sick, oooor they will just... put in the air, right? Make the air healthy or something. You don't have to drink water, because the air is all you need? Man I must be high or something lol...

I could stop now; say it's done. But no, I am really doing nothing right now except contimplating whether or not I should restart that grafiti wall painting. I think I will give it a few days before I start that one again. I COULD, finish it now while it's hot, but it took so long. Smooshy; booshy. Almost snoochy boochy, but not quite. Jay and Silent Bob, mo-fo's.

Assholes man, they're around every corner lurking. Their eyes gleam at a every sign of weakness. I think they forget everything when they're hunting their prey, all their past occurences and fall completely into a blood thirsty attack of "asshole" rage. I bet it's because of some sort of miscoming that they can't handle because they were brought up to be this way. Every one has them, no ones perfect, it's just other people can't handle it as well as others because of what they believe in. I personally am very laid back, and forgiving while others I know have a tendency to be extra sensitive and over exagerate problems.

Woo-saaaa. Wooooo-saaaa. In with the good energy, out with the bad.

I've done some reading on yoga breathing techniques. A good way to increase oxygen to the brain is to plug one nostril with your hand and force air into your single nostril. For some reason this increases the oxygen immensley and instantly gives you a head high. Another thing to remember is to always concentrate on breatheing deeply. Kind of hard to do, and you feel weird when your nose is making more noise then the bus but man, like I said, do I get a head high. Just make sure you don't get up too fast lulzy.

I've actually seemed to of found some mental posotive energy. I am surrounded by kindred posotive energy but anything that I find that has mental space is usually just crude and unintelligent. Perhaps they haven't been tampered with yet, or made aware of themselves. Regardless it's a nice change to be able to breathe once in a while. Most of you, if not every one (like any one reads this) will not understand that paragraph. Heh.

My friend got in a fight defending his friends the other day. He's apparently very sore. Besides that in news; I have been drawing more, and my batteries are dead. Which is a bit of a pissoff because I was playing guitar in the middle of the night when that happened. Nothing worse then cutting a guitar session short.

I hear the radio in the background, oh the radio.

Some one bought me lunch today

2008-08-26T12:42:00.001-06:00

I had a bunch of pennies so I decided to get some oranges and some tomato soup. I brought up a broken can to the till to see if I could get a discount and he went off about how he deffinitely couldn't do that. I looked away as if he didn't have to give me a lecture on till protocol and the woman next to me offered to buy my lunch because I was paying in pennies and dimes. I took her up on the offer, and now, I can buy banana's later if I want. How nice of her, made my day.

I am going to a green peace meeting later, should be interesting. It'd be fun to get active in helping the environment; meet like minded people.

So, I have plans to build architecture when I get some money. I have been thinking, and sweet art-style pagodas and stuff on private land in the middle of industrial park, and where ever would be whicked. Would really break the curve of the environment. It's just a dream, but hey, would be neat... Just takes oodles of money.

Bla bla bla.

Tea headache

2008-08-26T05:32:00.002-06:00

I just had some morning tea, which was super delicious, but moments afterwards I got a whicked tea-headache. Unlike coffee headaches, tea headaches super-suck because they make you nauseous. I had to fix it with coffee. It's because of this bunk tea I have been drinking, it's all the tea I have left in the house. If you ever want good tea, go to the chinese district and get some oolong or ginseng, etc. Otherwise you're drinking some commercial tetly shit and it's usually got so many additives to give it extra flavour you're probably drinking something bad for you.

Anyhoo. I am up and awake on time for once in my life! It took about a week but I think my system has finally turned back into a groove which is vitally important. I haven't been feeling too hot lately. Society is a chemically induced state of contentness brought about by television, hair care products and sugar. It makes me sick, literally. The TV has a weird frequency hum to it that you can hear even if it's muted.

#1 thing that has really turned me around, is I have quit smoking weed again, indeffinitely. Vacation really did a serious number on my lungs, I wasn't smoking weed before that so much, but vacation was too much. I went for a run the other day to catch the bus and my lungs revolted in pain. It hurt to breathe. Besides that, pot makes you sleep in, makes you over eat and it makes you grouchy if you're not smoking weed. I aint sayin' it is bad because I have accomplished many great things while stoned, had amazing work outs, drawn super awesome things and had the best munchies in the world. It's just a big waste of time because it makes you inept if you do it improperly.

So, I hate society like I was saying. It's cheap. Literally, the lowest prices get the highest sales. It revolves around being cheap. Why? So the rich can get richer at all costs. They brain wash you, this I know. How do I know this you ask? Well I myself have brainwashed people inadvertently for the betterment of the world and I am only 19. Imagine what these corporations do.

A real question that I have to ask myself right now, do i want to go to Benny Benassi. The real problem is that it is very expensive, $60 for the ticket, and another $20-40 for booze and whatnot at the event itself. I need to pay for things like karate and new shoes which I could easily pay for by not going to Benny Benassi. I love Benny though, his music has influenced me many times over in the past few years. I have seen the twilight of his aura and it's really quite martian-like. I have tried to see him spin for the past 3 years and now I finally have my chance and now there are problems standing in my way.

Shambhala was great. The music was perfect, the people were as lovely as ever and the weather was absolutely fantastic. You can't ask for much more really. I don't know if I will go next year, probably not, maybe go to a few other ones and skip a few years so it will be fresh again. Plus it's really fucking expensive.

I have had some weird nightmarish occurences lately that have to do with people I know being really fucked up, or at the very least incongenially annoying. I admit I am no perfect spring chicken myself. I see the dark side of my existence occasionally but I truly hate the way some people exist. It's their right to exist but damn, the energy that they make which they think is posotive is truly breakin' my back because I am subject to it. I often times "bathe" in black energy, so to feel this energy which isn't black is troublesome to my little ears because they cannot hold their tongue. To be able to hold ones tongue and be silent is a trait that I think very few, even myself cannot grasp. There are different types of silence mind you...

The fat people. That's a funny way to start a new paragraph. The fat people. We're all pigs. Society wants us to be. It's a social normality to eat an excess of 5000 calories. I am dieting myself and I still do it because the food is so hard to turn down because it's full of sugar, fat, salt, coacoa, etc. You see it on the billboards, on TV adds. They even try to make it seem nutritious. They don't want you to be healthy. They just want your money. Obesity rates are at an all time high, so is animal cruelty and so is global warming. I found a new article today about an "ice-man" that they unearthed which was really fuckin' old. They did carbon testing and it seems that he was pretty much 70-85% herbivore. He had goats, but he didn't eat em. Crazy huh? Non-edible goats. I tell you.

So, to take over the world so many innocent people would be lost. The greater good stands true but in the fog it's terribly hard to tell what's right and wrong. You would stare into the heart of a beast and to try to understand if its actions were terribly bad for all the sadness it had brought or terribly good for all the change it enacted would be hard to grasp. Much like death. I think it revolves around love and sensitivity. Sensitivity leads to denial, and such a serious attachment to love when you can't deny the problem any more could deffinitely lead to some sort of fall. Weird coincidences occur too often for people I am sure, odd thoughts that come back in a question when you realize new truths. What if? What if?

So I was talking about death before I rambled off. People are so attached to love, that when something they care about dies they can't even understand that their only source of affection and companionship isn't their anymore their brains can literally change function. Their memory's will no longer work and they will believe that their loved ones are still alive until they forget again; which leads them back to the same point in memory. That's why I hate love. It drives people to do terribly bad things, which is just ultimately a selfishly driven motive for their own selfish means. Sacrifice is the only way to true happiness.

A woman lost her child and she mourned for 8 years. 8 fucking years. Why do people think they're special. Hell, why do people have emotions? I have never really cried when some one died; well I have, but only until the emotion passed, and it settled. Usually I take great solace from the sadness, cherish it as a memory and actually feel much better after I have cried. These people they wallow in sadness. Maybe I just don't have any true love, lol.

My writing is so bad because I refuse to edit it.

I like the japanese. They know how to role. Their customs and so forth are very traditional and simple. The exact opposite of the American way of life. FREEDOM IS GREAT, but man; there has to be a line. Like I was talking about earlier, government take over, innocent people in the wake. La la la...

I think there's no beating it at the moment. That change occurs gradually because extreme fast change leaves a terrible hole. If you are on my wave-length you might catch what i have been thinking. My life is so anti-fundamentalistically christian. Nothing I see is black and white, sin is bad, jesus is good. Most often it retaliates from Jesus because of it's unconventionally straight way of life. If you were brought up in such a straight household it could create weird disorders because you would think you knew what right and wrong were. Like the earth was flat, not round, for example. Extreme hatred could be brewing in a weird oven like that; which I think would deffinitely defeat the point of being "religious"...

They unfortunately do not get to see the other side because they cannot understand it. To walk into such dark waters would haunt them for all that they believe in; so I am sure they are left where they are, as they be. Not sayin' everyone's the same, because the exact opposite could be said for those brought up without values. That being said, I was raised in a very religious environment so I am not sure what I am talking about lol.

I will probably go to church again in fact. I like church, prayer, the whole lot of it. Just not for a few years. I have never been baptized. Nor my whole family. I have this idea that if I am never baptized then I didn't commit myself to some weird human creation called religion. But I think commiting yourself to the true goodness is always a good idea. RAMBLES RAMBLES RAMBLES.

God's weird. Religions weird. How did we get to this part of the conversation? Fascism? Freedom? War? Peace? Money? Change? Oh the mean people. The people who think and think, but yet never have time to stop and smell the daisys and when they finally do they're obnoxious fuck faces who are probably just lonely.

I think Gargamel would be less lonely if he was left by himself then if the smurf lost all his friends. Unless the smurf was perfectly happy and gargemels loneliness was the source of his anger. Who knows... fucking communists. Russia seems to be pissed off about something because they're annexing and breaking treaty's and stuff lately. Change is brewin'...

I have been lazy with posting

2008-08-13T18:48:00.002-06:00

Another Shambhala is over and done with and just like last year it was as magical and as beautiful as ever. Makes me sad because I can't be dancing all year long in the sun and underneath the stars. BUT, hey, reality is great too, because here I can get fat and sit around by myself and do work. That's always fun?

So what they need to do is put a school campus on shambhala site with a huge computer lab so every one could always be dancing, attending school and playing computer games. It would be the life I tell you.

Anyway... I hate shoes. If we never wore shoes then we would never be in a normal society. What does that mean? We wouldn't have any cars, we wouldn't have any cement, no big buildings. If there was ever an earthquake, it would be fucking sweet because the ground would quake instead of a terrible disaster where every one dies.

I am rambling and it's pathetic, and it's only because shambhala is over and I feel fat because I realize that all I ever do is eat. While I love eating, I love it too much...

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEW POINT. I am on my diet now... I know what I need to do, how it needs to be done and why so I should do it. Every morning I go for a nice walk before I eat something healthy after a glass of water, and then I let the rest of the day take me. Less is more.

This post is silly... Yeah... I just, hate not, feeling pure bliss, all the time... There was a moment when I hadn't eaten for a few days at Shambhala, and I felt great, and when I finally knew it was time to eat and I did, I felt the food actually have such an amazing effect on me it was just amazing. I have done this before, but you can't dance every day for hours on hours... BLAA BLAA.. LULZY.

Reality. Word.

I have been a cheating vegan... I can't even be called a vegan anymore. Fat is so delicious it's not funny. Good for you too in ways. Karate starts up again in a month. Ah yeah.

Woah.

2008-06-16T02:16:00.002-06:00

I just had a rather traumatizing experience to some extent. It felt like a nasty salvia trip at any rate.

I have been going down to the hot tub down stairs every 4 or 7 hours today because my legs were cold you see. So, it's about 12:00, 12:30 and my legs were cold again, and even though the hot tub was closed, I decided to go down there and have a dip anyway.

I get down there and this time, while the initial experience was very hot, as soon as I got settled it only seemed like a mild warm. As if it was only a modestly higher temperature then what I would be use to. So I sit in there enjoying the fine warmth until I decide that this has been much too long then it should be so I get out. As I get out the blood rushes to my head and I get sorta dizzy, nothing I am not use to. By the time I get to the other end of the pool area my whole body just starts becoming weak and I become very dizzy and my heart starts racing very fast. All very shocking to say the least. So, I start freaking out a little, not too much because this sort of thing has happened before and I have experienced worse, literal complete black outs which feel like what I can only describe as hell. So I sit down in the pool and cool off and a bunch of weird ideas run accross my mind like time is irrelevent and so much of life is insignificant and to enjoy this odditity that I am experiencing at the moment. I start to swim around the pool to relax, and I talk to myself to ease the tension.

After a couple cold showers I relax a little bit more, go up the stairs and then I realise I forgot my shorts so I have to back track.

right now I feel like I should have one more cold shower because my head is warm and I feel dizzy and slightly nauseous but my appendages, such as my arm and legs are cold because of poor circulation at the computer which was why I went down to the hot tub in the first place.

Anyways, it's rather weird when your eyes begin to go tunnel vision and colours begin to blur and you get weird hallucinations as your mind creates something out of the mess taht you can't really see. My heart was racing too fast for comfourt and I don't think I will ever push myself that far again. Or will I?

If I do I think it will be the opposite I will put myself into a cold shower for much too long, probably less detrimental to my body. I am a cold person, I enjoy cold showers and winter walks. I am no freeze man but it's all just a sensation.

BRAIN ANURYZM. :3

I will write something funny soon

2008-06-10T21:54:00.002-06:00

I am going to write a religious doctrine thing soon, muahahaha. I may dress up in a Mormon outfit (black pants, white shirt, tie and a name tag) and go door to door trying to sell it. Maybe calling it atheism or something silly. Bla bla blaaa woo.

Do you have a slow computer?

2008-05-01T12:33:00.011-06:00

I know some of you people out there who aren't computer literate have computers that are really slow because of spyware and viruses. I am here to help!

Free anti virus and spyware remover that doesn't harm your computer like others do and firewall

They virus program auto updates and the firewall is top of the line. Enjoy.

I made the mushroom picture a couple years ago and I think it would look cool under a black light. It's kind of old, and needs some touching up, but I am too lazy. I have a plan for it in the future after I fix it, it will be trippy.

Mortality

2008-04-27T14:27:00.006-06:00

This is the post I have been thinking about for some time now and should be a reflection of my general philosophy towards God, and life if I do not go off topic.

Now, I see peoples philosophy's on every day life with a general close-minded narrow sited "erectile-dysfunction". Work work work, bla bla bla. Never really stepping beyond into the realm of personality besides selfishness in most scenarios. Coming home to the TV, and then sleeping. Disregarding everything with fear and illogical hate. Why live like that? I guess my biggest grief would be with society because this is what life is reduced to. My soul, at least is half alive. I am not sure what would bring it out of its deathly state. I know that when I have climbed buildings, or when I get into a fight, or even sex, it's like I am actually alive for 5 seconds. So many people are fat with the same excuse that reinforces their bad behavior with a compliment. I probably will eventually join the army.

The real question is why? Everyone has the simple straight forward answers, the one I came to when I was younger, say 8-12 was pretty easy to grasp. God wanted us to be tested on this plain before we go to the next. Very straight forward and simple.

The world isn't fair and this makes the idea behind this sort of ludicrous. Evolution is the only answer to this unfairness. I still can't understand why evolution isn't allowed in text books in some states in the US.

Having no answer to variation in species, is like saying that the weather is controlled by God. No, we predict the weather. Evolution would be unlike an influenza every year that's completely different from the one we had the year before. Natural selection is survival of the fittest. Predominant hereditary traits will be passed down to the winner with mutations occurring at every angle. We have white black people! They mutated the white gene and were born white, despite being born of two black parents. If that doesn't prove some form of evolution I don't know what would. This isn't about evolution though.

God doesn't give a fuck about humans or anything on this plane of existence. Maybe the next, but why would he here? He is so important and omnipotent I imagine his greatest feat would be the continuation of existence.

We have this weird egotistical thought disorder where we believe that we're the only beings on this planet that have "souls" or conscious minds. We have thumbs but that doesn't make us superior. I have walked in the forest at night, you realize fast how inferior you are to everything that is alive in this world when you're looking over your shoulder every three seconds because you thought you heard something. We're mammals like all other mammals on this planet. Monkeys have the capacity to remember over 2000 different symbols. If you look at my posts below you can see the qualifications of animal intellect.

I always find myself talking to retarded assholes with no regard for other beings. They don't even think animals have the capacity to feel pain. There is poverty in this world just as the wolf eats the rabbit. Life isn't fair and isn't suppose to be. This is why evolution exists, and God wouldn't have a place in this world. This doesn't mean you shouldn't have belief but it does mean that fat close minded assholes who eat pig on Sundays have less of a right to live then that they jsut ate and should be slaughtered and eaten themselves.

"80% of the meat industry is controlled by 8 companies with the same level of quality control"

I was on a walk and I came to the conclusion in a sort of eureka moment that God would be a nature photographer. If all his creations were created equal he wouldn't really have a place in this world to take away from natural order, just as a nature photographer wouldn't rescue a dying baby seal. He would allow nature to take its place as all things in this world do.

If God revealed his presence at any rate it would kind of destroy a test of faith and character. How could he test our faith in life if he always was here?

I like to think the extent of pain isn't as bad as one would imagine. Those who are starving and facing imminent death might be in a terrible boat, but it's one that would generally met with unconsciousness and numbness. You go into a fever before you die and perhaps the terrible death wouldn't of been as bad as say cancer. Most terrible things enacted on people are done by other people anyway. Not to mention what happens to animals by humans :(.

I had a spinal tap before, and in most scenarios where you're going to be faced with extreme torturous pain, you will have a defense mechanism that will stop you from facing it. I basically blacked out at one point and when I woke I was completely paralyzed. I felt the extent of pain. Now I know some people face cancer, and aids on a daily basis but you have to realize that compared to what a lake of fire could be it wouldn't be too bad. I hate being hot way more then cold, so this is why the idea of being over-heated and boiled would really suck. The worst things in the world probably aren't that bad really.

That all being said, it doesn't mean you shouldn't believe. Belief is probably the basis of all fundamental logic. Spiritual enlightenment is only possible for those willing to seek its path. Or maybe it's a moment? lol. Even if God wasn't a player in this world, imagine all of the minds from existence rolled into one being on another plane. It would be quite a powerful entity, a part of your mind and will. The more you know I am sure. As if we were all one and ourselves.

But, magic mumbo jumbo usually throws people off. I personally believe in other existence mostly because my life usually surpasses logic. Rationality is usually over come by implausible coincidence. If you believe in anything and throw yourself out there, you never know what you could find.

The sad truth is that I find most existence black. I love the colour purple for what perfect existence is and could be, the colour blue for its strength and logic, and green for life. But when it comes down to it, black is the shade that generally over comes all others for me. It's just this reflection of imminent death that is inevitable for everyone. People are wrapped up in this fairy world and reality exposed, there's so much tribulation and trauma at every angle that people tend to look past with blind eyes.

Oh to selfishness. Why bother to take that step when everything is good already. Most of these steps would probably cause terrible reactions in your immediate and probably permanent life. Other people who have less attached to themselves are more inclined to be able to walk the path of the less traveled. Some rich men and poor men are wicked with the same attachment to themselves and excuse.

MY SUMMARY: I hate close minded people, I hate fat people, I hate old people, I hate haters, I hate excuses and I hate myself for being lazy. BLARSOMAGHSEMS>?

Gravity kills

2008-04-22T23:49:00.003-06:00

Apparently the highest rates of fatality in the world are accidents (not including driving), driving accidents, alcohol, and prescription drugs.

So, if you want to live, avoid all of those things. Accidents including work site accidents and just falling down the stairs. Like I said, gravity is a killer.

I just had some nicotine gum. Apparently there's more nicotine in there then one would expect. I don't think I will chew it very often. But imagine, getting your nicotine fix without ED. One of my friends reported that he can't even get an erection these days because of his chronic chain smoking. That gentlemen and ladies, is a very good reason not to smoke. Imagine having a child, and it not getting enough oxygen to the brain. Why? Because you smoked. Constricted veins leads to early pregnancy, low birth weight, and a range of disabilities. I avoid smokers because they're addicts. If they didn't have enough money for their smokes, imagine what they would do. They would steal to get their fix. They're worse then pot heads. It also makes other addictions worse. I've smoked a few times. Made me sick. I did feel the relaxing effects, and I have gotten tremendously high from smoking before BUT it's a waste of time. I imagine they just enjoy the fact taht they're smoking. It makes them feel cool, and it's a habit that they rely on to be comftourble in situations. Using it as an escape from their illness that is their mind.

This isn't the post I am working on. It's going to be a good one I tell you. A compilation of my beliefs right now. I had something else to say here... but what...

Nap time. This post could be better. In fact all my posts could be. They're all very ill-structured and scatter-brained. I don't care. My ideas are generally easy to grasp.

The Curse.

2008-04-03T22:32:00.008-06:00

SOON TO COME. SUPER BIG POST.

Oh you bastard up in the sky
Whos fucking idea was this?
WHY?!
He's laying there, waiting to die.
He never had a single dime.
It's not my fault I naturally fly.

Alright, now on to my post.

I feel cursed; that's my band name anyway. The Curse. 13! This band name has plagued me since the day I found it but it has also given me great amusement in some sick way. Emo black metal? Pure rock and roll? Destroyer of weakness and cultivator of soul, the Curse is upon you to change! To break the curve and become one with your insanity. That's my band I guess. I think it will be more of a unity/following organization band. Anyone can be apart of "the Curse" if they are "cursed". You should be able to get the gist of what the bands about from the name. I should probably get to work on a website... That's a project for later.

I can't sing, or at least I think I can't. I rarely ever do and the last time I recorded myself sing it was absolutely terrible. It sounds good in the shower though. I have a few recordings that portray my representation of what I think the band is all about. Perhaps I will upload them sometime. They're kind of personal to me though. I also don't think anyone would really get it. Not that it isn't hard to get, because it's fairly straight forward but people who know me tend to be confused about my motives because I honestly don't think they really know me.

I hate decisions. Decisions revolve around money. So does this mean I hate money? Or do I just save my money and not spend it on anything, or is that a decision?

I drank quite a bit of caffeine today. I ran around west Edmonton mall after I watched Alvin and the Chipmunks. The movie, is so-so. It seemed like one big whipped cream commercial to be honest. Every scene they're eating whipped cream. It's hard to find people to click with. I feel like most people I meet I am trying to sell them me. Why should I have to fucking sell myself to anyone? I am not for sale!

I haven't really gotten to the point yet. Which will be more so in the posts to come. Perhaps the poem held quite a bit of my general emotion.

Before my point I would like a final paragraph on my diet. I am starting a new strict diet of vegetables and fruit. I have been eating a lot of grains lately and while they're extremely tasty, I really don't think they're very natural or good for me. They clog up my stomach and make me feel heavy. After fasting for a while I have come to the realization that my body goes into a state of starvation. This isn't necessarily that big of a deal, because after some relatively extensive reading it's natural for our bodies to go into starvation mode and it generally bounces right back when I go back into a regular eating pattern, BUT I like to stay regular because consistency is vital in a sort of "stay sane" sort of way.

ANYWAYS. If you want a clean diet: No more eggs (particularly egg additives; if you want to eat a whole egg, go for it, pastry's, cookies, etc; its harder than you think! EVERYTHING HAS EGGS IN IT ><), especially avoid dairy (I really recommend anyone to stop consuming dairy, doctor recommended by a specialist causes intestinal tract troubles because our bodies cannot digest lactose, as we don't have the enzymes lactase which breaks the milk-sugar down or rennin to coagulate it so we can shit it out. It's also extremely fatty), meats, cereal, and I am really trying to cut back on nuts. Which leaves me only to raw foods; fruits and vegetables, and some beans. You have to cook beans. AND YES NO MORE FUCKING POP. When you boil vegetables you literally destroy all the nutrient value. You'd be better off drinking the water you boiled your vegetables in.

For those of you who read this and think "omg I would die without meat" fuck you, I have gone over a week without food and 6 months without meat and I have felt better now than I have ever in my entire life. I also have been working out more than usual as well. We're all afraid of breaking the normality of expectations.

Animal products have high amounts of fats. While I admit animal fat is probably better than hydrogenated oil, it's still really high in artery clogging heart stopping fat! We can get all our proteins without it, I assure you; it just takes a structured diet. If you must eat meat only eat expensive meat; the cheaper it is the cheaper it was to raise it. Cut chicken especially, they are the worst treated animals on the face of this earth and the most genetically modified. I also cannot stress cutting milk enough. Eggs as well if you can. Imagine having an entire tomato for breakfast instead of bacon. Than for lunch too!

Milk and Osteoporosis
High Protein Low Carb Diets

Please check out the post below this one, because it has some good links in it.

I think the point is, that it is sharp. The duller the blade the more it hurts. Dullness comes from a bleak bland existence.

Most evil eyes
Don't look at me
Try a mirror
and tell me what you see.

Elephant Painting

2008-04-03T11:35:00.005-06:00

I just found this today:

Painting Elephant
< Elephant Painting

Extremely impressive. You have to wonder what that painting is worth.

Animals and Autism Slightly longer read, but worth it.
Autism compared to animals

Three other GREAT links
Sea Lion and Smooth Criminal
Amazing battle between Water Buffalo, Croc and Lions
Man Eating Lions

Finally:

Why I don't eat meat! Humans aren't unlike animals, they deserve rights just like we do.

Bla

2008-03-24T18:14:00.002-06:00

I over ate, because i was off my fast. Bad idea. I ate a "normal" meal this morning for breakfast and by 10:00 I was pukin' it up. I learned my lesson and I am going back on my diet again now. Normal foods to me now are foreign and what one person might think is healthy like cereal or even bread I can't stand anymore.

Basically, I eat nothing cooked. Raw fruits and vegetables. If I eat meat, I only eat fish which if frozen once before I eat it is completely fine to eat uncooked. I don't plan on eating fish though. I felt amazing before I ate. I feel sick right now. I wasn't hungry when I ate despite not eating for so long. Food just tasted so good.

In the fridge right now I have my meal plan frozen for a week. Turmerik beans and rice with corn. Warm it up in the microwave and bam, awesome in a bowl instantly. The beans and rice are cooked, sue me.

You really probably don't want to read about what I eat. I just can't stress enough how much better I felt not eating all that crap. I think a nice balance in between what I was doing before and now is what I am looking for. If you want to feel as good as me, cut all dairy, eggs and bad meats like hot dogs, bologna or fast food. I don't eat any meat and haven't for six months and I feel great.

I have whack amounts of tea. If anyone wants any free tea I'll mail you a few bags! I am helping Cody sell it, and right now it's in its beginning stages. It seems to be goin' good so far. The site's finished and the boxes are made and the tea tastes alright so it's only a matter of time.

I am going to go for a swim because I don't feel good. I ate all this crap this morning at like 6 am, and it's 6:22 pm and I still feel gross after what I ate. It was just porridge and cereal!

Stay tuned for a big post in the next few weeks ahead.

Losing myself

2008-03-22T21:23:00.003-06:00

I did a juice fast for a week, 6 days actually. If I was hungry or before and after I worked out I would consume a protein smoothie. My protein of choice, hemp protein. Doesn't have the intestinal problems that come with whey protein and doesn't make you fart or have isoflavines like soy protein. It also has 35% daily fibre in 4 tablespoons! So not only was I cutting fat with protein I was cleaning out my bowels with inulin! It tastes better than the other ones too. I never once felt hungry. Well I did once, for a few minutes after I went swimming for a few minutes but that quickly went away. In fact I am going to go for a swim now.

One hour later, I am back. I like swimming because it's soothing. When I go for a jog you kind of stop thinking, which isn't a good creativity stimulator. Swimming is great for easing the muscles and relaxing the back. Jogging is kind of hard on your knees and if you're fat a single trip and fall could fuckin kill you lol. Anyways; the fast was perfect. I don't think I am going to eat normally ever again. I was never hungry, for an entire 6 days I wasn't hungry at all. I made my mom supper today, and kind of stuffed my face really badly and I felt like absolute shit after. I also ate desert. I still feel like shit.

This is a good explanation of why I fast

The number one reason I really enjoyed that fast, food tastes 100x better after. It actually has taste! I can't stress enough that I was never hungry. Blaaa.

The best way I can put it, is you don't consume anything except fruit and vegetables. No anything else. My mind finally felt cleansed. If I have no sugar in me my brain isn't racing and I after my body settles down it's like a huge stress has left me. It's absolutely enjoyable. This isn't the most structured post, but I don't care.

I love karate.

2008-03-14T21:52:00.003-06:00

I love karate. It is the best feeling stuff in the world. Afterwards it's like I used up some of that energy that normally would of just turned to fat and I can actually lay in bed and almost feel tired. It's the best feeling in the world. My insides are warm because I've created a fire in my belly.

I have also started taking protein shakes these days. They're pretty awesome. I first got a soy shake, which is pretty whacked because it does this amazing thing to my brain because it has all the nutrients you could ever want. But unfortunately it gives me mad farts because it's soy. Beans make you fart. Plus soy's got a bunch of bad side effects that are removed through refining but still I don't really want to take it every day. I don't obviously want to take whey powder because it's derived from cows milk. It also has a bunch of bad side effects pertaining to your intestines. That's why I am using Hemp Shake now. It's got 34% daily fibre so that should even me out because lately I have been consuming less food so my "shit cycle" is all screwy. It's weird, once you fast, it's like all food is foreign. What would I have ate 4000 years ago? Anyways, I'll give this new shake a try and see how it goes.

Cody has also hooked me up with these antioxidant pills. I am starting to get the gist of them. It took me a week and a half of taking them, but they basically are dark chocolate x4. I am not taking them every 2 days now, just when I think I need them. I can feel when my glytamine level is low. When I take it when I want it my brain goes all screwy and it feels good. Worst case scenario it's just placebo, but it has a distinct taste close to chocolate. The only thing that has higher antioxidant effects than dark chocolate (only dark chocolate not milk or white chocolate) is red wine. Which I was taking for a while which I am not really a fan of because of the stark alcoholic content which makes me kind of nauseus. At the right time though, oh man is red wine good. You just kind of lay back on the couch while listening to awesome classical music and drift into the most blissful naps.

Which brings me to another point. My naps are fuckin' crazy. I envy those who have things to do because most of my days I am trapped inside; especially on cold days, but on the other hand I laugh at you fools who have to work and go to school because you will never feel the comfort of your bed at 12:00 in the afternoon. I may not even have to get a real job because I am working for Cody right now. If I learn how to live without work I will develop better living habits. Than when I get a real job I will even be better at regulating my mental life.

You can only die so many ways, drunk driving and smoking being up there at the highest. Going to clubs is kind of scary in edmonton I guess. Speaking of which my friend just had her house broken into and got all her posessons jacked. It seems they climbed onto her balcony, jimmied their way inside and stole all her valuebles. She was not happy. I am kind of glad I live so high up in such a nice apartment because I don't have to deal with that shit. But on the other hand, in the next year they're building an LRT right beside us so I imagine vagrancy will go up quite a bit. There's already always bums outside Sobey's so I can only imagine. I still do not like bums because of their douchebaggery. They're still better than assholes I guess.

I have ranted for too long. I bet no one reads this because I never get comments. I once had a weird comment "I am going to send this to your dad". You're going to send this to my fucking dad? You didn't evne fucking tell me who you are, how you found me and why the fuck would you send this to my dad when my dad doesn't even fucking know my middle name? My dad, if you did not know, showed up around 16 when I tried to find him. He's an old fatass, who owes me around $30 000 in child support payments. I know this because my uncle kenny lost his fucking truck because he never payed. He finally paid and got his truck back. Not having a dad is better than having a shitty dad at the very least.

EDIT: My dad paying child support is beyond the point. A single drop of general interest in my own well being would be worth a million dollars. I doubt he'll ever call again. I did the math once based on the lowest possible rate he could of payed and it came out a while ago and it was really really high. My mom for some reason never tried to contact him when i was younger, so I can't really blame him for anything. I can, because he never once tried to get a hold of me. Excuse, excuse, who cares who cares.

Karate rules.

My blog

2008-03-10T15:25:00.003-06:00

My blog is mostly just comprised of dieting tips. It's awesome; I love the internet. I have learned so much about health lately. I have felt amazing the past few weeks. My naps have been working like a damn, and the world just seems more open. I feel like I can almost accomplish anything these days. Knowledge is power and there's a vast infinity of it on the internet.

Karate helps me feel good. It regulates my energy and combined with proper meal placement I have the energy to actually leave the house and explore the crevices of Edmonton. I learned that over-eating is a terrible thing to do very fast. Once you get off the junk you can't go back I swear. I have no desire to eat meat what-so ever. Just the other day I met an exceptionally healthy woman of the age 60 who has not eaten meat since she was 20. She rescues animals and is an advocate of animal rights. She runs an antique shop and I met her when I was shopping for my grandma's birthday gift.

http://www.veganoutreach.org/ <-- This is a pretty good well documented site.

In other news people are fucked up. Drug dealers particularly. I have in the past few days heard horror stories second hand about terrible going's-ons. For this reason I am seriously considering joining the army. I don't think right NOW is the time, maybe after summer or just before it. Possibly within the next month even. Just imagine what could be going on in under developed nations if this kind of stuff goes on here.

Fire in his eyes.
The world is mine.
You have to reach out.

I made this eons ago.

2008-03-02T21:05:00.003-07:00

Satoshi Tomiie and thoughts

2008-03-02T19:21:00.003-07:00

So I went to a late night club last night to see Satoshi Tomiie. It was a good show. Very tribal. I danced pretty much the entire night, and sometimes it would be awesome, the next I wouldn't be feeling it as much. Some of the best beats I've heard up to now. VNV Nation had some heavy stuff and Armin Van Buuren who is playing on the 22nd was extremely heavy. I'd definitely pay to see him again.

www.satoshitomiie.com

So I am sure you have heard about my general dislike of capitalism because of it's disease like qualities with profit as the only driving motive for expansion and change. it's ability to spread prosperity through poverty.

I can't really think of a better system of government until we have new forms of technology despite weird theories of Marxism or anarchy which are great in theory but probably wouldn't show a very high level of prosperity. I admit I love my computer and my nice warm showers.

Anyways, I have ranted about trains for years. I love trains. I use to have a train set when I was younger. The LRT, to bullet trains to the Canadian Railroad system. You could literally have one train running on electricity that went every where in the world. They even go under water now, entire oceans!.

We need transportation because people are lazy and I for one would love to see the world as it flies by me. Planes are very bad for leaving emissions in the upper atmosphere that will never leave which causes severe damage. They're also bad for noise pollution; same with cars, bla bla bla.

ANYWAYS, my point. I fucking love trains. Maybe they will never be able to go as fast as plains but they're cheaper, safer and awesome.

Things are going swimmingly

2008-02-26T02:16:00.000-07:00

Since I got fired for having long hair the nap cycles are coming along as if they were meant to be. I have been having perfect bliss-full sleep and having weird crazy dreams. I wake up before my alarm and I am rarely ever tired. It's about half a week now. It took 6 months to be able to just slide into it this easily.